Surprise!

So I got a couple of hanging flowers for Mother's Day for my front porch and it seems that a little momma has made her home there. She has four little eggs nested and protected, how cute! I am just afraid she will abandon them with all the attention I need to give to the flowers so they don't die. I don't want the plants to thirst, but on the other hand I don't want to disturb the babies either so we'll see what happens. We'll have to be really careful when watering. I guess since there aren't enough trees or shelter in our new subdivision, the birds need to make ends meet somehow.

Ahhh...

I love having a three day weekend! (Sorry Charlie - I know you had to work Saturday, but I love you for it.) We got our ground tilled and planted our vegetables, but with the cold weather on Sunday I'm afraid they may not make it, I dunno. I don't know what frost bitten plants
look like, but yesterday half of them were pretty wilted so I hope they will be in better shape when I get home to water them.

We took the kids to the zoo yesterday and bad mistake! Everyone and their dogs were there! In the parking lot there were a lot of plates from Idaho and Wyoming so I think EVERYONE read my mind and stole my idea to go on Memorial Day! Oh well, lesson learned for upcoming years.
We were going to go Sunday, but it was butt cold and miserable. I guess the important thing is that we went and the weather was great and Savannah loved it! This was like a new experience for all of us as we watched her reactions. You should have seen her yelling at the rhinos afraid of the peacock who acted as if he owned the place. Unfortunately between the shuffle of holding Savannah vs holding the camera, we didn't get a pic. :(

You know there are too many people around you at the zoo when your kid notices the people instead of the animals. Savannah was quick to point out a kid's mohawk who was standing in front of us while I was trying to divert her attention to the snow leopard by making growling noises. She was much more fascinated at the kids hair than the lazy cat (which she can see at home any time!). The bird show is our favorite and may be hers now too. She watched so intently and turned to me to smile every time they flew above us or said something funny. She even raised her hand to be a volunteer after she saw a white dove fly into a little girl's hand for a demonstration.

Overall, I think Savannah was overwhelmed by the whole experience and still not all of it sunk in but when we left she was in such a good mood that I know she enjoyed herself! (Pictures to be posted later.) It was a good weekend and the only thing missing was our family BBQ, unless I
wasn't invited?




Our pics from the zoo... I just love Savannah's reactions from the bird show, they are my favorite. We didn't get as many pics as I thought we would and I think it was cause we didn't want to miss out on anything in live person and sometimes when you take photos, it's just not the same. I like looking at what's happening in front of my eyes so as not to miss a beat, so the camera was kind of forgotten.

I blog, you blog, we all make the "we" in weblog.

Today one year has passed since I started blogging. Strange isn't it? It's been fun and I haven't kept a journal since I was 17. I came to hate almost everything I wrote in my first journal as it was based off my life with my ex-husband and had little or no meaning and so I ripped the pages out and kept the good parts. In my second journal, the last page that I wrote was found by accident and hurt my mom terribly which changed our relationship forever. Ever since that day I vowed I wouldn't keep another and have many regrets. (Sorry mom, I hope you someday forgive me.)

So I started this just for fun and really didn't think of it as a journal at all. Much better than handwriting in a plain empty book, this is creative in its own way and also serves as a great photo album. I find that it is a good way to share my day to day life with my family especially those that I don't see very often. And any gripes I may have and frustrations will subside by my knowing that people are actually reading this, therefore I am encouraged to practice seeing life in a pessimistic way, but sometimes I know my entries can be downers. So to all you bloggers out there, it's been a great 1st year and many more will come!

Pets for Sale!

Our pets are officially for sale as of yesterday! Any bids? Nothing like coming home to a box of cookies eaten by the dog and unedible types of garbage chewed up everywhere. Then while I was trying to sleep last night Muffers was annoying as all get out. Normally Kittens makes sure the pantry door is open to her pleasing so she may eat at any time, but she was actually sacked out and not paying attention to the food situation for once (I know, is she sick?). So that left Muffers without any help. She would jump on me every little while all night long. I thought, "I'm not gonna get up, is she crazy?" Then she would make muffins on my belly a few times and was really lovey dovey but sorry cat, still not getting up.

You'd think our cats didn't ever get anything to eat during the day that they need to do it during the night! Then the Sheba whines and acts as if she's dying. I don't know if she needs to pee or poop and am not taking any chances of my carpet being further ruined by animals or toddlers so I get up to let her outside. Five seconds later she barks and I let her in. A few minutes later she did the same thing. I locked her in Jake's room (sorry Jake) since that is the only way I can get a break from her without having to make a trip to the basement to put her in her taxi while I'm half asleep. She acts as if she wants to get on my bed, but whines and when I call her she doesn't come so I assume she needs to potty. Needless to say I slept like crap last night because of Muffers and the Sheba. Kittens was an angel, which is the EXACT opposite of what usually happens.

Lesson here is before bed put the cookies up, leave the pantry door open, and put the dog in the pet taxi. I'd just shut my door if it did any good, but they'd all scratch at it. Ah, I love my pets! Who am I kidding? Our pets are officially for sale as of yesterday! Any bids?

Weekend

Our weekend was good but of course, too short. Saturday I had about 10 loads of laundry to catch up on from not doing anything on Mother's Day (I won't let the men touch the laundry - so my own fault!), Charlie worked overtime, and later that night we went to see the King and I at a dinner theatre. The boys got a kick out of it and so did we. I forgot how funny it was and have never seen this play, just the movie, so I'm glad we went! Afterward we stopped off at Krispy Kreme since we don't live around one like we used to, so it was a nice treat.

Sunday we spent almost the whole day shopping. We're going to try to grow some vegetables and hopefully won't kill them. Neither one of us have ever had a garden before, so this will be interesting. We got some wood edging for the spot that may or may not become our future flower garden. It was my idea since it seems that is the theme going on back there with the picnic table, the deck, and Savannah's swing set all being stained redwood. We're using the flowerbed for the vegetables temporarily as once we get a fence in, the permanent areas for plants will be defined. We also got Savannah a sand box and a wading pool, so she had a blast and wore herself out yesterday afternoon. I love having a yard and a house!

I'm so glad it's time for Memorial Day. I think we're all ready for a three day weekend after a long stretch of having no holidays. I want to take Savannah to the zoo before it gets too hot and this Sunday may be a good day for it. She was excited as we drove by the cows in the field, so imagine what her reaction will be to the zoo animals. I was saying that I wish she could stay this age forever, but then again if she did, she wouldn't be fun to watch grow and learn any more than she has right now. So I try and bide my time with her and take lots of pictures cause before I know it she'll be all grown up.

Confessions of an ex-druggie...

There was a point and time in my life that I self medicated my life with alcohol. Yes I was and what's weird is that during the time, I easily admitted that I was. But to admit I was using illegal drugs was another story. I used to use meth and marijuana on almost a daily basis but I hid the fact that I was a drug "user," especially for the meth. I guess because it is man made and really made me feel the most evil. I was so good about staying away from it even when I was asked to try it over and over again, but stupid me after getting stoned one night I let my guard down.

I was in denial that I even did drugs at all because I was so embarrassed of myself and didn't want to acknowledge what I was doing. But now, almost 8 years later I feel comfortable talking about it. I think that it is because I am 100% sure that I will never use again and that I have been successful in life for a long period of time. I don't feel I was addicted to meth, but I did use as long as it was around which was a lot since my ex-husband had become a dealer and started bringing all kinds of trash around. The times when I came down from an overnighter on meth always cured me until the next time it was offered it to me usually at a party, but I NEVER went looking for it because I needed to get high. I guess I was what you consider a social drug user and especially so since this all happened during the time I was most vulnerable and felt alone after my husband left me and our marriage was ending. I felt the need to have company and sought empathy and direction and when I was using the drug is when I felt most strongest emotionally. I had become an addict of self medication.

I was lucky in that I had kids and didn't want my lifestyle to be overpowered by drugs and was able to keep that vision, and I've never liked drastic changes in my life. A lot of other people I knew at that time didn't. In fact, two people ended up killing themselves. What does that say? This stuff should not EVER enter the body, it kills and destroys all your emotions and self esteem, I don't care what anybody says. My ex used to tell me, "Once a tweeker, always a tweeker." It was then that I knew he had decided to give his life to this crap. I'm so thankful for every day I have now, I don't know that if I would have been around it too much longer that I could have gotten out of it myself, so thank you God, thank you for listening to my prayers.

I was reading this information from a work newsletter that was published to help our staff identify the customers who may be victims of meth. They explained it all so well I wanted to share this with you. I hope you or your loved ones never come across this drug and that someday it will be completely gone off the face of this earth. But until then, it's good to be educated. I wasn't. I found out the hard way. As for my ex? Well he's in prison, but doing better there than in the real world. People can't quit until they want to, and unfortunately he didn't and I needed to move on in life and quick regardless if there was any inkling of hope left for his sobriety or our marriage. That is when I quit hanging around him and the drugs and eventually became an alcoholic and went to the mental ward due to untreated depression. To some people, divorce is not accepted, but in the end it saved myself and my kids from drowning under the demon's power of meth.

"An 1100% increase in a feeling of happiness--that's what methamphetamine does to the brain of a first-time user. Yes, you read that correctly: eleven hundred percent increase. That's why meth is usually so addictive after only one single, experimental use.

Dopamine is a chemical released by the brain that is related to our feeling of happiness in association with endorphins. When we eat, we experience a 50% above-normal feeling of happiness that dopamine generally provides. (Of course, we're not saying how much that level increases when we eat chocolate!) When someone smokes, she experiences a 150% increase in pleasure. Sex causes a 200% increase; cocaine a 300% increase; and meth causes the whopping 1100% increase already mentioned.

Brain cells become less and less responsive with repeated doses of meth so a user needs more and more of the drug to continue to feel good at the same level as previously. Former pleasurable activities no longer make a user feel good: only increasing amounts and/or frequency of usage of the drug cause a high.

Methamphetamine can be found as "ice," "glass," or "crystal" in its hardened form. It also is frequently seen in a powdered form in varying colors due to the chemicals that have been used to make it. It usually is not found in a very pure form, and the toxic chemicals associated with meth lead to many health issues. Normally, the body stores toxins in fat cells; however, in the case of meth, the body tries to release the toxic substances through the skin.
A common characteristic is for a meth user's body temperature to increase, sometimes extremely, causing profuse sweating that reduces normal sebaceous oils on the user's skin which then leads to skin deterioration. Coupled with this is the body's attempt to rid itself of harmful chemical toxins. These conditions create sensations that the user's skin is on fire and/or has bugs under it. These bodily responses cause itching and resultant scratching that leads to sores, which frequently become infected. These sores are called "meth bugs." Users will often be seen repeatedly scratching or picking at sores on their arms and face during an office appointment.

The environmental effects of meth production and related activities cause serious concerns for everyone. For every pound of meth that is cooked, there are five pounds of very toxic waste that need to be discarded. Meth producers don't care where or how this waste is dumped. In addition to this, anyone living in close proximity to a meth lab--such as in an adjacent apartment--is at high risk for suffering physical ailments from these toxic fumes. Toxins can seep into sheetrock, studs, carpet, etc. Meth has a smell that is best described as "very strong cat urine."

Customers often become paranoid generally in one or more thinking patterns including: "the government is after me," someone is stealing my stuff," or "everyone is against me and everyone is corrupt." Other users become obsessed with certain ideas especially that people are "possessed by the devil." When they have this obsession, they can do something violent.
Because a substance such as meth has such a strong effect on normal brain function, addicts tend to make choices based on something different than consequences. Having their benefits delayed, their financial grant reduced, or their case closed is not really a deterrent or a consideration in their behavior. They are being driven by a stronger need to once again experience that "wonderful" high.

Meth also causes an increased level of serotonin which leads to reduced hunger, difficulty in sleeping, and anger issues. Meth addicts frequently do repetitive acts such as pending. When they are using, they will go through a very elated period where they may participate well in their employment plan, attend all required appointments, etc. When they go through their crash period, they suffer dysphoria (anxiety & unease), depression, and anhedonia (absence of pleasure). They don't appear to care about anything including their own physical well-being.
As with any addiction, environmental triggers are a huge issue. If someone truly desires to give up meth, it almost always takes a change in habits and environment including people, places, activities, and tangible physical things. The strong addictive effects of meth stay in the brain for two years because it takes that long for normal brain chemicals to become re-established. It takes seven years to completely come off of meth.

Meth is increasingly found in small towns and rural areas. Some highly organized meth rings target rural areas. Meth can now be cooked in a duffel bag or a large briefcase so it is able to be produced virtually anywhere."

Priceless Stuff

I can't believe how fast time has passed by these last two and almost a half years since Savannah was born. Lately, she repeats everything I say and is talking more now than ever. I knew she would eventually, but I had my doubts when she turned two and still wasn't talking like the others her age. My favorite part is when I tell her I love her and she says it back. I didn't teach her this. I think she's learned from hearing us say it to each other, but coming from her when you don't expect it is so cute and priceless.

I was also thinking to myself of how much I enjoy having a little girl. She combs and likes to do my hair, she tries to put on make up when I'm doing mine, she wants a turn watering the flowers when I'm watering them and leans down to smell them, she tries putting on my bra and dress shoes....yes all girl! Mom is right, every mother needs a little girl and now I know what she means since Michael and Jacob never did this kind of stuff.

So it's day 4 on the potty training. The first two days she did so well, and was excited to try. Now it's like, "Ah, whatever mommy." She seems to be bored of the concept and now when I ask her if she needs to go, I think she quickly goes before I get a chance to set her on the potty without thinking or will make the attmept right after she's already gone so I'm not sure we're at a total success level yet, but at least a start. It will nice to be rid of the diapers and the diaper bag for good but I have to admit that I've been in denial this week believing that she's really not ready and that my babysitter is just trying to amuse me by creating stories that Savannah is showing great interest to go when the other little girl does. I guess I don't like the idea of my baby not being a "baby" any longer. She still has the binkie at bedtime, so at least I still have something.

What Color are You?

Today we had a staff/team building meeting. I guess even the managers have seen how dry we all have been since the consolidation, but what do they expect from accountants anyway? Like the joke that asks what accountants use for birth control..."THEIR PERSONALITY!" Yep, we're pretty boring. If you've all seen the movie Office Space, that's us!

So we took the famous color test to find out about each other's personalities. In case none of you have ever taken it, you can do so online for free. It consists of 45 questions that ask you about how you react to things and how you feel most of the time. When you have answered them, you add up the number of each type of answer you entered and it is then coded with a certain color. I think this is my third time taking it and the color is still the same even now. I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing.

It turns out I'm 4 % red, 9% yellow, 24% blue, 62% white:

WHITE - (Motive: PEACE) - These are the peacemakers. Peace, or the absence of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, good listeners. They are feel good people and are very accepting and tolerant of others.

Yeah, that sounds about right. I think we whites are the "door mats" of the world. I really need to make some changes...which reminds me about another thing that happened at work today. Our travel coordinator who I provide back up for when she is gone, waited until the last minute today to ask me to cover for her tomorrow. Um, sorry but you really should have checked with me months ago. She seemed flustered when I told her I couldn't but then she's probably come to expect I'll always be available like the 'WHITE" person I am!

Tomorrow I am going to be represented at the IAWP conference I was telling you all about. I'll be glad when it's over and luckily it's the first 15 minutes on the agenda, so piece of cake!

New Additions

Some of the most recent additions to our yard is the picnic table that I got for Mother's Day, a swingset, and Charlie's grill. Now it's really starting to look like a back yard, even without the fence. I've been waiting to get something for Savannah to play with outside and since she just loves the swings, I thought it would be better than some of those other kinds of outdoor toys that don't seem to last.

We are hosting a BBQ for my mom and family for Mother's Day. She usually has all the BBQ's at her house so I thought I'd give her a break and also Charlie can put his new grill to the test. It's much larger than we needed for ourselves, but he really likes the space. I hope we have enough room for everyone since there is no shade in the back for us to sit and visit.

I can't believe how cool it's been for May, but not to last too much longer I'm sure. Again with the Utah desert heat before we know it. I'll just enjoy not having to use the furnace or the central air and enjoy the lower utility bills for now. Either this weekend or next I plan to get a few herbs and vegetables planted in the little spot behind our house in a temporary area. I don't want to dig up the yard too soon until I'm really sure where I want it.

MORP? What's a MORP?

Michael went on his first date yesterday. I guess the "girl ask boy dance" now is called the MORP (PROM spelled backwards.) What happened to Sadie Hawkins? Maybe it was just a Utah thing, but it was a country/western fall themed dance where the girls asked the guys and you dressed in goofy cowboy hats and boots. I guess that died out a long time ago, which surprises me for Lehi (remember "Footloose?") where almost all people are cowboys and cowgirls in the first place!

Sounds like they had fun - in his words, "had lunch at Beto's, went bowling (he won the highest score), to a chick flick movie, then to her parents for dinner where they had steak, and then to the dance where he made an utter fool of himself since he doesn't know how to dance." I didn't get to meet her but she sounded nice enough. I wonder if since this is first date, and where the girl paid for everything and drove him everywhere, he doesn't get too used to the idea. I don't like guys that are moochers. Yep. He'd better get a full time job this summer!

American Management Today - Idiots?

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate America, circa 2004:

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Terrible Two's?

Savannah is getting so big I can't believe it! I fall more and more in love with her watching the new things she does everyday but she is also learning her boundaries with me. With Daddy, there is no boundaries, she does as she's told instantly. But for me, she grins and looks me in the eye just waiting to see what I'll do next. I remember I did the same thing to my mom thinking it was funny to see her mad and never felt threatened by her when Dad wasn't around. Now I'm on the other end of things. (Yep, mom and dad always told us kids this would happen!) Sure she'll pick up her toys AFTER she gets out of timeout, but to do it when I've asked her the first time has yet to happen. So far she has never taken me seriously but that needs to change. Just last night, she asked me to get her blocks down, and I told her, "No. Since you won't pick them up when you're done with them, you can't play with them." I wonder if any of that sank in. Any helpful hints on mommy authority vs daddy's?