After having a lovely day yesterday out with the family, today has been equally good. Savannah and I went to church, did a little shopping, a LOT of much needed yardwork, made a Sunday dinner, and got our hair cut. We also played a couple games of bowling with Savannah's new play set she bought with her tooth fairy money. She has really been on this bowling kick ever since we went bowling a couple weeks ago. She even begs daddy if she can bowl with him online everytime he is on.
I think though that having a super busy day feels productive and I feel good when I am productive - but I find that I don't desire to be productive unless it is for a reason. For example, and maybe this is in preparation for the unknown and my STRONG desire to move, I have had this goal since returning from vacation to get rid of all unused junk in our house. (In regards to moving....well where we've been has been good for what we could afford 7 years ago, but things have changed. However I am also realistic in not knowing what kind of income we will have in 6 months. So I keep both options open, but given my choice I am preparing toward moving.) So having the hope of moving and the time to keep busy while Charlie and I are apart keep me motivated and that is something I haven't been in a long time. And if we don't move, at least the house is dejunkified!
I have started in the basement - therein lies most of our junk. Lots of furniture is gone. Luckily Michael came and picked it up so I didn't have to figure out how to get rid of it and I am glad he could use it. I am slowly getting rid of junk that is just sitting collecting dust and cobwebs. It was hard getting rid of Savannah's infant car seat but none of the good will donation centers will take it as it is outdated for safety standards. I hate throwing things away, yet I love it when they are gone.
On feeling good about being productive...well often I find I am so used to doing the things that need to do or that should be done I often put off what I want to do. But when I do the things I need to I seem to feel more of a sense of accomplishment and feel I must do these first to earn the right to move on to the things I want to get done. This is probably why I don't do what I want like I should. I don't prioritize my time for me and then wonder why I feel so burned out?
It is a viscous circle I have created for myself and I often daydream of how if I didn't have to work then I would be rid of it, but in the back of my mind I really know this is not all true. I find that I get to the point in my weekend after all else is done that I then want to start on what I want to do however I am usually stopped with having to work and being gone 12 hours out of the next four days and then all the chores come around again 360...ugh. This is what I have to accept working full time. I will need to make priorities for what I want done - half and half? This weekend was a good example, we did some of what we wanted and some of what was needed. Not all weekends need to be about only doing the household chores. Why do I have this so engrained in my head? Was it from the weekend chores we did every Saturday as kids? Nevertheless I have made a commitment that next weekend, with no plans in place, I am going to finally finish that quilt I started for Savannah!
No comments:
Post a Comment