Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Things are moving fast!

So I just found out yesterday that I will be permanently moving to the "salty city" over the next few weeks to help out with piloting the transition of duties from regional to state level administration. I didn't think I'd have to move for at least three more months, so this is a big change that I don't know how much I'm ready for. I guess no better time than the present? Funny how a few weeks ago I was wishing it would get over and done with and boy did I get my wish? I'm going to miss my friends more than anything and hope that they all keep reading my blog and stay in touch, at least by way of technology. I'm sure there will be lots to share with our new experiences and endeavors we are about to have in our new positions.

My poor Mom.

My mom had surgery yesterday on her shoulder. I feel so bad for her. It's so hard to be uncomfortable and then on top of that she doesn't have dad there to help take care of her. There's nothing better than having your spouse around to help pick up your slack when you are down. I've tried to offer to stay with her as long as she needs, but she insists I go home to my family. I just want to cry...if I could take her place I would, but God doesn't allow us to do that. Hope you are feeling waaaay better by the time you read this mom.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Ooh, big celebrity in town!

Or at least in the vicinity of the same county where I live. News flash: "Gary Coleman from "Different Strokes" moves to Utah"...supposedly after he fell in love with the rinky dink town after shooting a movie there. I think he's just bankrupt, found the houses cheap, wanted live differently and not have to live up to an exhausted child star role for a change. Wouldn't you? Anyway, it's getting pretty serious now...we're officially becoming the next Hollywood.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

This weekend

We went to see the movie Skeleton Key with my mom yesterday and boy can I tell you if a movie leaves you thinking about it even into the next morning, it's a good movie! I admit I thought I had it all figured out and thought it would be mediocre, but they definately saved the best for last in this one. We also went with mom to find her a surround sound system for her new family room/entertainment room. I don't know how many years it's been since she's had the TV in her front room, but it's a been a long time. Her new furniture and system will be a nice change and everyone can enjoy watching movies together.

Politics, go figure...

You know there are some really crooked ways in the business world. Especially in government. There has been something bothering me so bad this weekend that I can't help but talk about it to ge it off my chest. Of course I won't go into specifics, but things going on a work right now are not and never were in the best interest of everyone, only those that are favored for reasons I will never know. Even the best of people that work hard and get their job done on time every time are still kicked in the chin when it comes to fairness, and yet others are just freely given oppurtunities they haven't really worked for. I know for my position, I will be okay, but it's the others I worry about, and the others I know that do more work than anyone who are the ones that will be treated the poorest and be given excuses for why things will be done they way they are. And of course no repercussions will be taken to fix things and make things fair, and nothing anyone says will matter, so here we go again. Round two. Anyway, now that I feel better I will leave it at that.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Welcome back friend! :)

We decorated my friend's cubicle while she was at Disneyland. Gotta love the hiding Hawaiin boy in back of the Dragon photo! Took her some time to finally notice it there, HEE! Sidenote, would you ever want a golden plated crystal demonic dragon as a gift for your 30th birthday from the office "group?" (Inside joke!)

We screwed up all kinds of stuff!

So many funfilled surpises...don't worry though, there will be more stuff for her to find later when she moves to another job due to the reformation of admin....hee hee!

Work Friends

Good friends, good food, lotsa fun! We celebrated Gina's going away to bigger and better things today at lunch. No better way to end it than with chocolate and and many laughs! Since we'll all be separated soon, we needed to get a lunch fix!

Since they are getting rid of our positions, Gina's gotten a new job, Lisa is on her way to one next, Julie gets a new office in a new location, I'll be moved to the "Big City" out in capital land, and I'm gonna miss them greatly and all our good times...

Julie, me, Lisa, Gina, and Selma

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Back to School

Well the boys are back in school. Michael is a junior in High School now and Jake is in the 8th grade at Middle School. They didn't seem as excited this year as they've been in the past since this is their second year in the same school I think. They've both hit the milestone of turning over into a new journey of entering High School or Middle School, so it doesn't seem like it's been much of a transition from the summer. Of course now their nights will be full of homework and remembering to set the alarm, but boy will they be able to appreciate the weekend. It's a little harder on us, mom and dad, though. Getting Savannah off in the morning to the sitter takes an extra 15 mins worth of time, but seeing her little smile and that she's always so happy to see us in the morning makes things less hectic. So I guess back to the old rig-a-ma-ro with life, eh? Only 4 more years and then it's time to send the last one to kindergarten. Wow, that sounds weird!

Monday, August 22, 2005

To Charlie...

Although it made me blush and brought tears to my eyes, I just wanted to tell you how much your singing this song to me the other night really took my heart for a spin. It seems I've forgotten how much the little things like this mean to me. In the beginning you did it all the time and I think I thought it would never end. I guess that's why I cherish it now more than ever. This one really hit the spot with everything that's been going on the last couple of years. So I guess I'd like to keep these lyrics here to come back to whenever I need to remind myself of what we have ahead of us and that we are in this together through thick and thin. (No matter how often we both want to just put our hands up in the air and give up.)

Tonight’s the night we’ll make history, honey, you and I
And I’ll take any risk to tie back the hands of time
And stay with you here tonightI know you feel these are the worst of times
I do believe it’s true
When people lock their doors and hide inside
Rumor has it it’s the end of paradise
But I know, if the world just passed us by
Baby I know, you wouldn’t have to cry

The best of times are when I’m alone with you
Some rain some shine, we’ll make this a world for two
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime
We’ll take the best, forget the rest
And someday we’ll find these are the best of times
These are the best of times
The headlines read ’these are the worst of times’
I do believe it’s trueI feel so helpless like a boat against the tide
I wish the summer winds could bring back paradise
But I know, if the world turned upside down
Baby, I know you’d always be around

The best of times are when I’m alone with you
Some rain some shine, we’ll make this a world for two
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime
We’ll take the best, forget the rest
And someday we’ll find these are the best of times
These are the best of times
And So my friends we’ll say goodnight for time has claimed it’s prize
But tonight will always last
As long as we keep alive memories of paradise...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Lazy Sunday

Just good to be at home and be "lazy" or semi-lazy at least. I know I've still done laundry, cleaned the kitchen and have a bunch of grocery shopping to do, but hey that's mild compared the errands we had to run yesterday. It seems our Saturdays are always filled with stuff that needed to be done during the week, but who wants to run around after work? I think we save up the errands for Saturdays especially since we live so far away from town. The boys needed their hair cut for school starting tomorrow, my car was past due on getting it's oil changed, Charlie needed some sprinkler parts to adjust some heads that were in an area I decided I wanted landscaping, Michael wanted to get some bleach for his hair, and we wanted to go to the vinyl fencing stores and get some quotes on fencing. So by the time we drive in to town, get the errands finished and drive back we've spent a good 4-5 hrs it seems.

But that's our Saturday, so I guess the household chores really get done during the week here and there. When we lived closer to town we did them all on Saturday morning, so I think I've gotten lazy about getting them done on a schedule like that since we've moved out here. So I guess you could say it's more lax but there is more to do than ever with a house vs an apartment. There is always something. It's all worth it though. Nothing like having your own home and not only that, even with kids there is always something needing to be done too. Michael asked me to bleach the tips of his hair after we got back. It turned out okay but I think we needed to leave the stuff on just a bit longer. We also should have bought some toner to help it from getting an orange tint. It's been about 5 years since I did it last, so I didn't remember all that...he's happy with it, that's all that counts.

So here are on a lazy Sunday, I'm still trying to finish my laundry and we are on our way to shop for groceries for two weeks. I know that sounds overwhelming, but hey it beats going next week again and besides, our grocery store sent us an $18 off coupon in the mail if we spend over $160. Now that part of it will be easy. On top of that Charlie has homework to do and the boys are preparing to go back to school (already!? What a short summer it's been). So lazy or not it feels lazy compared to the slave of the work week.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

She talks!

So she finally did it! Savannah is officially starting to say her first words. I don't think she is totally aware that she actually said it, but it did come out twice today! "Momma" she said as she was handing me her drink when she was done. "Momma" she said as she was getting my attention to lift her in my arms. I'm finally "Momma" can you believe it? Later on I asked her to say it, she did, but only the one time. I think she knows it's something new so when you ask her to do it on command it's one of those, "No. It has to be earned," things. She used to do the same thing with her ABC song or her dancing. What a little snob, but nonetheless everyone to their own, eh? She is still saying the words ball and bubble and now I've noticed she copies us when we say the word "Otter Pop." Being summer and all she learned that one quick everytime we went to the freezer she would say it. The words aren't really clear yet, but hey for needing to talk 5 months ago, we are finally making some progress so I'm pretty excited.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

So I just noticed...

My recent blog entries this past week are depressing. What's that about? Am I in some kind of rut where my world isn't up to par? Is it because there aren't any projects to focus on such as putting a lawn in? Is it because my friends at work are slowly leaving and changes are beginning to take place and I am just now realizing the reality of how lonely I will be without them? Is it because of all the headaches from bills that seem to be arising? Is it because the boys are starting school? Is it all of these little things put together? Am I on the downside of the rollercoaster?

So I have this really old fortune cookie fortune on my work phone that I've had for about 3 or 4 yrs. I don't know why I kept it, I never keep them. It says in red lettering, "Fate determines many things, no matter how we struggle." It is all bent and folded over on the corners and looks tattered and torn, but I leave it there. Even though I see it everyday, I don't always read it. I need to. And to remind myself about the struggles I've had in the past in my life. So why does life so bad now? Do I just have random cycles where I become little Miss Martyr? What's my problem?

I think it's bigger than my being a martyr. I know what my solution is. I need to excercise, I need to eat better. These things I am not doing would make me feel better not only physically, but emotionally as well. I keep telling myself that when I get my treadmill things will change. But I too often forget that I am not good at disciplining myself most of the time, and then when I remember how bad I am at that, I get into the same old thinking mode for not even trying. I need a little encouragement I guess. For the first two weeks is usually the hardest, but hey, if I can quit smoking a pack a day and it only took the first two weeks to really work through the hardest part of suffering, why can't I do this?

Who in their right mind?

Craves frozen pizza for dinner? I do...I guess it's been a reallllly long time since I've had it. Is the yum. (sometimes) We'll be having Digornio's self rising three meat along with the new spicy chicken. Anyone tried it yet? Can you tell I'm hungry?

Thursday, August 11, 2005


I really don't have much to say. I really don't want to talk about nothing...but yet I want to write something to make me feel better. If that makes any sense. So I'm feeling down today. I'm tired. I have PMS. I miss my Dad. I miss my friend Liza. I'm sick of being an adult. I feel trapped today. Weird cause yesterday was a good day. But what is there to do when you get to feeling this way? I'm not going to go out and do drugs to escape. That only makes your life worse. I can't cry because I'm at work and then people will ask me about it but I don't feel like telling them what I don't know myself. If I cry at home, the people there worry too and I'd also have to answer to them. I just want to cry alone for a while and weep up in the rainy mountains...if there were rainy mountains. I wish my Dad could talk to me. I wish he'd tell me it will be alright. I just wish I could go home and have him ask me to eat dinner with him and mom and feel taken care of again. I just wish. I'm tired of wishing, yet I still wish. I'm tired of doing, yet I still do. I'm sure I'm feeling even more hormonally challenged making things all the worse since my antibiotics seem to mess with those stupid chemicals canceling out circumstances that I am trying to avoid to become pregnant. I go to all the trouble of trying to find out what's wrong with me with my pain in my side, but it turns out I don't even care at this point. Whatever happens happens...but that's not what's causing this. Life is. I shouldn't be this way, I am only 33 years old. What's wrong with me?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


So I painted Savannah's little toenails and fingernails last night after her bedtime bath. She didn't know what to think. Charlie noticed it and was disappointed I didn't wait a couple of years when she was a little girl. News flash! She is a little girl even if we don't want her to grow up so fast. I wish she was still a baby some of the time, but mostly it's great to see how she's sprouting into a little girly girl alright! You should see her carry around the baby dolls and hold grandma's purse on her shoulder. So cute! And I've already started looking at toys online for Christmas she will love!

Oh, so she started to say her first word! Ball! She loves playing with the bouncy balls and it seems she is starting out with the "B" words first. She also imitates the word bubble, but it's not totally clear yet. She gets so excited when she sees the bottle of bubbles and just says it aloud. She loves for you to blow her bubbles and likes to pop them with her mouth along with Kittens the fat cat. "Kah-yute!" as my Dad would say.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Monday sucks

Especially if it's one after a week of vacation. I did not start out having a good day. Let's just say I didn't even make it to work on time thanks to my lovely antibiotics I am taking for infection. I drove about 15 miles then decided I'd better turn around before it got too late. Oh and for an update, after getting negative findings on anything dangerous from the CT results, the doctor and I decided to treat it as diverticulitis and then if that doesn't work, we will have a colonoscopy done to rule out what the blockage really is. Yuck.
It was also hard leaving the kids to come to work . I wonder if that's what made me sick. I am known to be a hypochondriac sometimes. I just don't know what to do or what the best decision would be to maybe work something out for me to be home with them more often as well as stay financially sane and completely balanced and happy for myself. I've worked hard to be where I'm at today and there are more oppurtunities waiting for me. There is never a happy medium is there? It's funny though, I think my being home for a week like that has made Savannah more clingy and less independent, so maybe her being at daycare all day is actually good for her social skills.

When I got to work, I felt so dysfunctional that it made me not want to be here all the more. Maybe taking a week off is more stressful in the long run??? Who knows really. I think I just need to do it more often to even things out. Yeah, that's it.

To top things off today, my friend Gela is going to be getting a new job. Guess she'll be the first to make this change here at work that we are all destined to experience. So I'm happy for her but sad for us when she finally leaves. Funny how she's been packing for the last week and a half. Her cube gets emptier and emptier. I hope sometime soon they will tell us what they are doing with us who haven't had success in getting another job yet.

Anyway, now that I've complained about my day, how's yours?

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Lagoon Day

The annual company party for GE at Lagoon Day was fun, hot, but fun. Still fun even if we are getting to be old fogies and not ride any of the rides. We played at Laguna Beach Water Park where Savannah was still too scared to get in the water like she used to when she was fearless. She is also too little for all of the kiddy ridesthat you ride on with out your parents. We had planned to take her on those ones after dinner but she passed out by that time. And unfortunately she has been teething for the past couple of days so she wasn't as happy as she normally would have been.

The boys had fun but didn't get to ride the new rides like The Bat or The Spider. It seems those are the most popular, so I'm sure they weren't wanting to waste time standing in line in the hot sun. I don't blame them though. On the way home one of Jake's friends couldn't believe they had Lagoon back when I was a kid. Am I that old?

The dinner was good. They had hamburgeres, hot dogs, chicken strips, and chicken cordon bleu. Of course we didn't win any of the raffle prizes. Maybe next year we will get the $1,000 gift certificate to RC Willey Home Furninshings or the $1,500 travel certifcate, who knows? Heck, I'd be happy with the $50 fuel certificate with the gas prices we have nowadays that will never go down...that would fill up my car 1 1/2 times.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Nothing like sleeping in...

I got to tell you, as a mom sleeping in is a rarity, at least until the kids are about 10 or older. Savannah stayed asleep quite late this morning, so it was great to wake up on my own. I know that I should be in Disneyland or somewhere exotic if I'm taking off a whole week for vacation, but you know what? This is great. I can actually do what I want at home at my own pace and not be in a hurry. If I want to take three days to actually finish the laundry, I can. If I want to write in my blog at 10:00 at night I can. If I want to have dinner ready for my husband when he gets home I can. It's great. It will all end tomorrow though. Then back to normal hustle and bustle. I can't even imagine going to school and work like my husband does. That is a lot of stress and work to do both and have a life at home. So I will enjoy the rest of today, maybe I will watch Oprah for once or Dr. Phil. That is after I get my chores done, LOL.

Okay, that's it!

As Savannah and I were watching Sesame Street I got to thinking. She was so cuddly there on my lap about ready to fall asleep for her afternoon nap I started to tell myself, "What am I doing working all the time? I am missing out on this. I don't want to be a working mom any more. Or at least not a full time one." It's been really nice these past couple of days of being home with the kids that remind me what being a mom is really about. Oh sure, we could tighten our buckles and simply live off of 1 1/12 incomes I'm sure, we've done it for a short time before. But I also enjoy having a career, something I can take pride in. I am starting like the seniority I am finally getting. I just had my 5 year anniversary. After 5 years you start to accrue more vacation time and is a landmark toward years of service. I want us to have a good retirement also by being able to contribute towards it. So you tell me if there is a job out therre that is part time with full benefits that you can also call a "career?"

I found this part time secretarial job for the city which I live in. I'm wondering what kind of benefits they have. I'm wondering if we could really scrimp for me to work there since the pay would be less per hour and half the hours I am working now even though I wouldn't be using so much gas to get there. I'm wondering what I would be giving up in my "career." I feel too old to be a stay at home mom, yet I feel so young that I have so much more to gain by working. If that makes any sense at all, I don't know, but days like these make me really miss being just "mom." And when I did work part-time, it was great. I had time to breathe. One day at work, one day off. I guess if Charlie and I become serious about this opportunity, we'll have to put our thinking hats on and analyze it all. Funny thing is though, I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it since he's so busy at work. What to do?

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Family Reunion

Well the Family Reunion this year, planned by me I might add, went very well. We went to Palisades State Park in Sterling. We had so much room we could have invited every single person related to us in every way and would have been fine, so that was nice. Oh, and the fact that we camped a Sunday/Monday night was nice. There were only a few campers around so it was very quiet and peaceful except for the Mexican day campers that played their music so loud that their bass of the Mariachi gave us all headaches.

The only things that were downers was the weather on the second day, my and Savannah's fall, and that Marty and Tina couldn't stay the whole time, oh and Mr. "Hurley" next to us (the single camper that must have gotten food poisining in the middle of the night). We played Bingo for prizes, swam, and visited until it was time for bed (for some people anyway). The food was good even though it turned out to be a Mexican theme for both nights having tacos and chilii. Maybe next year there will be a planned menu not only to help people with ideas, but to have a better variety. The breakfast casserole was really good too, I love potatoes and eggs for breakfast. They seem to stick with you all day.

We rented a canoe for the boys and ourselves, and even though that day was the rainy/sprinkle day, they still had a lot of fun in it. Savannah didn't like the canoe ride so much and cried the whole time. I guess she's not old enough to appreciate it. She was however gung-ho on getting in the lake to swim and wasn't scared at all until after she did a head dive the second day. After that I couldn't get her to even walk out in it. I couldn't believe all the minnows that were swimming so close to shore only less than a foot away from us! Must be a lot of them this year with all the extra water.

It's been nice to be off of work. My friends talked me into taking the whole week off since I would be off on Friday also to go to Lagoon for GE Lagoon Day. I love just having fun! I do admit though that it isn't the same as when you are a kid. All the spending of money, low energy, and planning and packing making sure everyone is taken care of is a lot of work, but in the end run it is all worth it. So I wonder what we'll do next year? There is actually three people in the family who have ideas and they are all good ones. I guess we'll see. For now my part is done for a few years. Yay!