Nothing

I really don't have much to say. I really don't want to talk about nothing...but yet I want to write something to make me feel better. If that makes any sense. So I'm feeling down today. I'm tired. I have PMS. I miss my Dad. I miss my friend Liza. I'm sick of being an adult. I feel trapped today. Weird cause yesterday was a good day. But what is there to do when you get to feeling this way? I'm not going to go out and do drugs to escape. That only makes your life worse. I can't cry because I'm at work and then people will ask me about it but I don't feel like telling them what I don't know myself. If I cry at home, the people there worry too and I'd also have to answer to them. I just want to cry alone for a while and weep up in the rainy mountains...if there were rainy mountains. I wish my Dad could talk to me. I wish he'd tell me it will be alright. I just wish I could go home and have him ask me to eat dinner with him and mom and feel taken care of again. I just wish. I'm tired of wishing, yet I still wish. I'm tired of doing, yet I still do. I'm sure I'm feeling even more hormonally challenged making things all the worse since my antibiotics seem to mess with those stupid chemicals canceling out circumstances that I am trying to avoid to become pregnant. I go to all the trouble of trying to find out what's wrong with me with my pain in my side, but it turns out I don't even care at this point. Whatever happens happens...but that's not what's causing this. Life is. I shouldn't be this way, I am only 33 years old. What's wrong with me?