Sunday, October 30, 2005

Talking about Halloween Memories

We took the kids to Pumpkinland yesterday even though it was raining all morning. The sun came out and weather warmed up making it a great afternoon for us. The corn maze was quite muddy but nothing that couldn't be cleaned up. I'm pretty sure that for Savannah this is the continuation of the tradition I had with the boys year after year when they were small before Charlie and I met. We all picked HUGE pumpkins to carve and afterward we went to mom's and had pizza and watched Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin and Ichabod Crane's Headless Horseman by Disney. Of course Savannah didn't sit still long enough to even watch one inkling of the movies, but I think mom enjoyed our company as we did hers since we won't be seeing her on Halloween night. All in all it was a very enjoyable day and I think that this makes for a great memory this year and years to come!

What's your favorite Halloween memory?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Missing loved ones.

So I haven't seen my husband for the last three days. I'm getting so used to having his company with the extra carpooling time, that I'm having withdrawals. He usually is at school on Wednesdays and Fridays anyway, but yesterday he had to work until 9:00 p.m. He says, "At least it's not forever." But then I think about my dad, and now that he's gone, I realize that there is a forever, no matter what people say to try to make me feel better about his dying. So there is a forever at some point and time for everyone, and someday Charlie will be gone too, and my other family. I think to myself, "How does someone prepare for something like that?"

I can't even stand to watch the news any more; a two year old little boy beat up and killed by a grown man, a lady hit on her bike, two teenage students hit while walking to school, and worst of all - a lady hung herself on a tree in the neighborhood which no one noticed thinking she was a Halloween decoration! And all this in one week. So I guess what I'm getting at is, let your loved ones know how much you care for them while they are still around, or not around. Even if it is expressing your weakness of missing them or needing them. Charlie said to me today after I told him I wished he didn't have school tonight, "I know it sounds bad, but I'm happy that you miss me." I guess he makes a good point that even though I was expressing it in a different way, I was still saying I love you.

I wonder if it's bad then if I am not missing my dad as much as I used to? Or am I? I still miss him, I know, but it comes out in different ways than it did before. Before I used to mourn from deep within, sobbing with heart wrenching tears. I still do, but only on occasion. Now when I'm missing him and thinking of him, I put the radio on his favorite AM country station or I'll watch an old TV show like Andy Griffith or something to keep his memory alive with me. I even enjoy watching the Time Life commercials that are on in the middle of the night or Sunday morning advertising the Classic Country collection with clips of Johnny Cash, George Jones, and Loretta Lynne when they were in their prime. Takes me back to some good memories of many Saturdays at home in the backyard with the old radio blasting out the garage from morning until night. Dad was always tinkering around. I still haven't listened to the taping of the funeral and don't know if I ever will, even though I do have a copy. I guess I'm just not ready yet.

Back when I was a single mom, I never thought I would get married again, yet I did, and I did to a wonderful man that knows just as much as good old Dad did about fixing things and making things work. And Charlie was there for me 150% when my Grandma died, then when my Grandpa died 7 months later, and then when Dad died another 7 months after that. How could I have gone through that alone? I feel all of these feelings but what right do I have to feel them? Mom has lost her mother, father, and last her husband all within 2 years time. She is doing well from what I see and I commend her for being so strong and coping with such a great loss even though she doesn't want to. I hope she knows she is loved, and I hope my husband knows he's loved too. I am grateful for them both and all of my family, and I always miss my loved ones when they are not near.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Ode to the husband

My poor husband. He spends all his time at work fixing things and maintaining the facilities there so nothing goes wrong but no sooner does he try to make for a lazy weekend, stuff at home goes wrong. The thing is that we live in a two year old home with no preivious owners. There shouldn't be anything wrong for a very long time. But the water on the bathroom floor and the plugged up dishwasher when we moved in was a good sign the plumber the builder hired is a P.O.S. Now our pressure reducer isn't working and since it's a $120 piece, you'd think it wouldn't be going bad for at least 20 years. I'm sure this butt-crack showing idiot simply put in something used or second hand he bought. So now my hubby's spent the last hour trying to keep our overflow from the water heater from leaking. And of course, this happens on a Sunday when there is no one to call to get something done for a reasonable rate.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Halloween Memories

My favorite memory of Hallowe'en is my Grandma Johnson's house where she had doughnuts and apple cider waiting for us kids on the night of Hallowe'en. She always loved our costumes and always took pictures of us then while she and mom would visit, we would spend what seemed like whole night in her neighborhood trick or treating getting loaded with candy! This time of year makes me miss her and Grandpa the most. As Hallowe'en approaches it's always fun to look back on years passed albums to see everyone's costumes and wish I were a kid again.

Thanks Mom

Mom took me out on the town for my birthday, well technically it was after my birthday, but the weekend doesn't always land where you want it to. First, we went for an hour of massage therapy and boy did I have a knot in my back that really didn't want to come out. Then we ate at PF Chang where of course I got the Cashew and Almond Chicken and she got the Moo Goo Gai Pan. Was the yum! And the best part of all was the play at the Hale Center Theatre. Disney's Beauty and Beast was excellent! They portrayed every character just as it was in the movie and the special effects were wonderful. I enjoyed it so much that I had to go home and watch my copy of the animated movie on DVD. I can't believe how close they were word by word on the script! Anyway, it was a great time and I'll always cherish this birthday present. Thanks again mom, you're the best. It's memories like these that making getting old not so bad.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Can I just say...

...that taking care of someone else's kids makes you really appreciate your own? I guess living with them you just know them like the back of your hand and it all comes so naturally. I've been been off work for the last two days since our sitter has been on maternity leave and this week was the week we didn't have anyone for replacement so my husband and I are taking off half and half to stay home with Boo. I also volunteered to take on my brother and his wife's kids who also use the same sitter, (who right now are all asleep along with Savannah - hooray!), and I guess I just know Savannah too well making it easy to take care of her. I think that's a mom's advantage, but when you take care of someone else's kids for only two days it's a little hard to get to know their eating habits and so on and you know you're not mom so nothing will be as good as what their mom does. Savannah's cousin is about 4 months younger than her and I guess I'm just happy to know that Savannah eats better than I thought she did as I have worried too much about that since she's so much littler than her cousin and come to find out her cousin doesn't even eat half what Savannah does. And although Savannah doesn't talk much, she just seems so much more grown up to me now with the littler kids around. I reminisce as I feed the baby about when I used to feed Savannah when she was that little. Makes me want to cry and just having my birthday yesterday doesn't help as I realize we're both growing up too fast.... Oh, and as a side note on babysitting, I have come to the conclusion that I don't want any more kids and that I don't think babysitting is a full time job for me - even though my brothers kids are very good and easy to take care of. Thank you to all my babysitters I've had, you do a hard job!!!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Week 2 in New Office

I've actually had work to do today! Can you imagine rejoicing for work? Now that Lisa has started her new job, I will be immediately responsible for her duties from my old region as well as the Western region duties on a temporary basis until the other two on my A/P team are brought up. It was silly though to have had me sit for a week with nothing to do other than socialize, and that doesn't go well over here with the director of the department around the corner - besides, I'm no social butterfly (Thank goodness for that, I don't want to be thought of as a troublemaker!). I can't even totally unpack until Friday of this week since they are moving everyone around. So yeah, last week was a total drag.

I told my new coworkers I didn't know why they assigned me to come in last week with no work. So I said to them, "I think they had me come in to either get settled in or to make sure that I wasn't going to change my mind." They laughed at that, after all this transition has been so "if-fy"from what I hear with people being frustrated and unhappy. It was a fun loving joke and they all know I'm not going to leave especially when they find out that I am driving 84 miles per day round trip to be here and carpooling over half the week with my husband to do so. If that's not committed, what is? Besides, maybe the real reason behind it all was for the big wigs to make sure they were the ones that didn't need to change their mind about me being here! Now that I can see!

I think I'll be fine though. My dilemma right now is that I NEED MY KEYBOARD TRAY BEFORE MY ARM FALLS OFF! That and the fact that I'm not accustomed to the lunch group yet and am not sure I ever want to be. TMI about the LDS temple, young women night, and the LDS General Conference session that aired nationally over the weekend. I need to somehow sneak away while I'm not established and start either eating by myself (where it's most safe from making unwanted friends) or find a different group. I guess we'll see. Funny how Happy Valley was less LDS oriented at lunch time than it is here outside of it! Go figure.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Good Food. Good Weekend.

It's been a nice weekend. My sister came down to visit and spent some time with me and my mom for my "early" birthday yesterday. We went shopping and to the movie "Flight Plan" then to Mimi's Cafe for dinner. It's always fun to have a girls date out. Today my family and I had a pleasant afternoon with home-made chicken noodle soup. (I'm secretly hoping it will get rid of my sinus problems for good!) To top it all off, we made carameled apples for dessert I can't think of a better way to start the fall season!