The Party

Savannah and her friends had a good time today. We played "Pin the nose on the clown" for which Savannah's nose ended up on the hall tree. As you can see by the picture, she was cracking up about it just as the rest of us were. We also played musical chairs, a game that I loved as a kid. Bounced a few balloons, decorated cupcakes, colored, and of course cake and ice cream.

It was a small party as half of the girls weren't able to come, but it will be one that I think Savannah will surely remember.

Where a kid can be a kid!

We took Savannah out for her birthday, but she thought we were going to McDonald's - her favorite toy, ice cream, and play place - we didn't tell her we weren't going to go to McDonald's and instead took her somewhere new she hadn't been but wanted to go. She didn't seem too surprised probably cause I have been telling her we would go for her birthday. I thought she would have forgot, but she is 5 after all.

She loved Chuck E. Cheese. She was a little scared at first of the robots on the stage, but all in all we had a good night and ended it with a song of Happy Birthday. She got a certificate from mom and dad to choose a bike at Toys R Us once the weather is a bit warmer. We will be having a kid part on Saturday for her neighboring friends. I hope it goes well - I had a dream this morning that no one showed up. :(

More on Savannah...

Savannah doesn't have any siblings close to her age. So she plays with the cats and the dog. She was running around the house this morning with curling ribbon (we were making birthday treat bags for her preschool class) and Muffers - the cat that is too good for any socialization unless she says so - was running around after the ribbon. I loved it! Muffers favorite thing is a balloon filled with helium with curling ribbon on it. So it was really cute to see her play. I am glad for having pets when I feel like maybe I should have another kid for Savannah's sake.

Here are some of my favorite pics of Savannah Boo's

Baby girl...

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5 years ago my baby girl was in my arms to stay. I remember we went to the hospital, I was to be induced to ensure we had her alright. I guess we were worried about making it to the hospital in the snow and how far out we live. So I was in labor, but nothing was happening. The doctor tried to break my water but it didn't budge. The second time was the trick. We had little Savannah that afternoon, I believe it was 4:10. I remember them wheeling her away to the heat lamp so that she would keep warm. It's funny how I don't remember the pain much. I do, but it's not engrained in my mind as a bad thing. Yep no epidural. The only thing that could have made the experience more natural if I had started labor myself. It was a sunny day like today when we brought her home too.

I was so worried about her too. She didn't want to nurse and I wasn't experienced either. I felt s inadequate but kept on trying. Eventually everything was okay. I still worry about her though. I love that little girl with my whole life and if anything ever were to happen to her I would be crushed forever.

She's not my baby anymore, she is school age now. Not even a toddler or a preschooler. While I hate to see my kids grow so fast, it is still amazing to see who they become, what they desire, and how they blossom. This year we are having a kid party for her. Years past it was always family. But now that she will be going to school soon it seems 5 is a good age for a change.

Last Sunday she was so excited to wear the tiara that they have the birthday girls wear during church. It was pretty cute. She is my little princess and will always be.

Time's Up

Okay the results are in. The new blog template stays! Three loved it and wish to leave it, 2 liked the color scheme. Thanks to all who voted! :)

What day is it?

I guess with missing the last day and a half of work and my head not in the game I forgot what day it was. I didn't understand why when I got to work a co-worker was asking me what I was doing and trying to tell me that it was only Wednesday. I replied with, "Huh? Yeah? Why?" So she says, "You're wearing your jeans?"

D'oh! Gave us all a good laugh for the day though.

Charlie's 40th Birthday

We are not speaking of this birthday so pretend that I didn't post this. Per Charlie's request no gifts, no parties, no nothing, do not even mention the word "Birthday" to him. So we didn't.

Business as usual, we went to church and afterward attended the annual church meeting while eating Beto's burritos in our lap. Afterward we went to the "fee-a-tour" (another Savannahism) and saw Inkheart where we were all enjoying the largest tub of popcorn and cups of soda that you can get for a mere $14.50. The movie was very good, and original so we were happy with our decision. We had a snowy ride home and when we finally got there, Charlie and I just relaxed with his favorite no bake "cheese pie"(aka cheesecake - Savannah calls it cheese pie) and a good documentary of the skunk on the Nature program.

Like I said, business as usual. Someone suggested that I invite him and our friends to a restaurant and hire a belly dancer but I think he'd have my head if I did. Maybe next year?

Hmm. Don't know.

Don't know what it is but lately I haven't had the best of luck. Sunday I slipped in the driveway and no am pretty sore on my right side, yesterday I went home from work not feeling well, and last night I cut my finger with the chef's knife.

Still not feeling like myself though. It comes and goes. I'm not terribly sick or anything, just have this lingering headache - it's a dull one but it hurts at the same time. My stomach has a weird feeling in it too. Not sure how to explain it, not naseau, just a weird feeling kind of like after you ride on a ride at the amusement park. Wonder if it is a migraine? I am tired too. I could have went to work today I admit, but took advantage of not being too busy at work to let myself relax.

Wow!

So I just found out that I am going to be an aunt again! My big little brother Matt and his wife, Kelly, have just found out they are expecting! Hopefully he or she will be born in October cause that's my birthday month! Congratulations guys!

Let's Play Tangle!

So we broke out our new game of Twister the other night. Savannah really has a lot of fun with it. I myself found many new muscles that have not been stretched since I quit exercising. Jacob even realizes now that his body is not once it once was, that he is feeling the difference between being a kid and a "big kid".

The other night Charlie was visiting with us in the front room when she ran to get it before he had the chance to sneak out and shouted excitedly, "Let's play Tangle and Daddy too this time." When she gets tangled and falls - of course it is the person who spun the play that did it!

Interesting...

So the HR representative from Green Bay Wisconsin Enzymatic plant that Nature's Way bought came out to Charlie's work today. The Chief Executive Officer of Operatations personally brought the guy to Charlie and introduced him. Pretty sure that's a good sign that they are wanting him as part of the upcoming team. On the other hand it makes me a bit nervous. Better get that call into the realtor and fast!

Teenage Heart Throb

It has been happening for a few weeks now - rituals of brushing teeth, getting up earlier than normal to take the time for a shower, lint rolling Bear's dog hair off his clothes, shaving peach fuzz, straightening his hair, worrying about his hair (well he's always worried about his hear), and even wearing clean socks. He also told me the other day, "I am trying to get in the habit of making my bed every morning." How does a mom not notice these things?

 

Last night after brushing his teeth, he came into my bathroom where I was and asked for some floss. He then showed me his teeth and said, "Are my teeth getting whiter?" It was then I really knew.

 

And so it has happened. Jake has had a girlfriend for about a month - but, "Technically Christmas break didn't count." he said. In reality it was more that I guessed and interrogated him to admit it. He said he was waiting to tell us, that he was going to last Monday but just hasn't yet. I reminded him that if he feels he has to "hide" something from us, then there is a good sign it is not something he should be doing and that he is probably correct in the feeling of not wanting to tell us. He responded with he thought we would be all weird about it. So I asked him, "How do you know what our reaction will be until you actually do tell us?" He was stumped and agreed that I was right about that. I am sure his real reason is that he was worried in regards to the harsh reactions we had to Michael and his relations with girls - but we had good reason for this due to Michael's behaviors at school and at home. Jake thought about that and then agreed.

 

He says he's not in love though - nor has he had a first kiss with her or anyone yet for that matter. When I asked him about her and what they have in common he says, "I don't know we don't get to talk that much. She doesn't have a cell phone in order to text and she is not allowed to go out yet." So I replied with, "That's good though. No sense in rushing things." From what I can tell by his reactions they are just friends at this point and still getting to know each other. Maybe this is more at the puppy love stage than boyfriend/girlfriend stage? However I also know that he wants to pursue moving forward with the relationship. This morning he asked if he could go to her house tomorrow after school. 

 

This should be an interesting subject at the dinner table tonight...my baby boy, is growing up. He'll be 18 in April, going on 30.

 

Harrumph!

Contrary to my hard work and creativity, my silly husband seems to think I need to change my blog template back the way I had it! Now if I knew how and had the time to create HTML code to what I really want my blog to look like, believe me I would. Please take the poll to the right to give me feedback of what you all think! Majority wins all!

Frosty the tree?

I wish I would have had my camera out this morning. On the way to church we passed by so much fog and frosty trees it was overwhelming. The trees had so much frost on them that they were fuzzy and fat. They almost looked alive. Maybe tomorrow they'll be frosty again and I'll get the chance to take a good pic. ;)

Saturday morning and it's cold outside!

So I finally broke out the heated blanket last night. It was so stinking cold that my cat didn't even keep warm and she has tons of fur. I had to let the dog out in the middle of the night cause I figure if I gotta go then he too must go and I swear that the sliding glass door was frozen a bit. Bear has been really good to not go potty in the house at all otherwise I'd have to leave him in the cold all day while we're at school and work. Lucky dog.

So we're going to the library today. Our city has a pretty dinky library or at least it was the last time I was there. I think it is growing over time just as any other city would have had to when they started out. I was going to take the kids to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua at the dollar show either today or Monday but of course I waited too long and now it's not playing. I think we'll just stay home and bake some oatmeal cookies to share with my Sunday school class tomorrow. Cheaper on gas anyways. Not sure what we'll do with our day off on Monday. Time to be really conservative - what with Charlie's job laying off 5 people the day after they announced the final word they are going to relocate and now all the talk of possible layoffs of state government workers (yes even my job is at stake yet the public needs us the most right now - food stamps, Medicaid, Unemployment, cash assistance, job search assistance, etc.) I think Monday we should open up the Twister game we got for Christmas that I keep forgetting about. I can see us now, Jake will probably end up dogpiled on Savannah and I. Someone is bound to get injured.

How cool is that?

So I signed up for a "smoke-out" challenge throught the Public Employees Health incentive program through my employer last fall when I decided to quit smoking and I got a $10 gift certficate for Walmart today in the mail! Not only that, but after a year I can ge a $100 check as well! How cool is that to think of when considering that I began quitting for very many other reasons?

Well it's official...

As of yesterday it was announced that Nature's Way will be no longer in Utah come 2011. Charlie will have been working there for 2 years on the 25th as a maintenance mechanic and I agree with him that it is a hard thing to do to go in to work in the morning to a "sinking ship." It has been a great company thus far and we have been truly blessed. There may be a possible option for Charlie to relocate so we are praying about this as it opens up many, many other options that I have been praying about for some time. I feel there are some great prospects underway for our future endeavors but it is a change as well and will not be easy no matter what happens. God will guide us through this bittersweet journey. I have faith.

Today's thoughts...

I can say I have touched the heart of God, that I have seen Jesus' face. Prior to my walk with God as a Christian - I could not say this. No I never had a testimony of what was taught to me nor did I know how to seek one. Not once growing up did I ever experience revelation of God or of the Spirit. I now know how to focus on Him and His glory, not on religion or worry if what I was doing was right would be enough to earn His love. Sure I got promptings from what I used to call the "Holy Ghost" but they were very weak. I did not hear them loudly as they were not strong, nor do I remember them assisting me during any type of trial in my life. This has changed. The Holy Spirit today is now my mentor.

Everyone has their own walk with God no matter what church they go to and it is true that we should not judge others or deem that they are better than others and know more than another. I don’t feel that anyone in my family has judged another nor have they attempted to, they have simply expressed themselves and what they are feeling inside about a religion, not anyone personally. Through their experience they have learned what was taught to them and has made a choice to decide if they truly believe or not.. What a person believes true to their heart is that of their own and something someone says about their experience or their disbelief about something should not hurt and if it does, I hope you pray to God and ask Him what to do with the situation.

God doesn't change, therefore we should not change Him or His plan with other's beliefs mandated by religion that have changed and are still changing to this day. It is too bad that some cannot simply accept that others walk with God in a different light than they do. It is my hope that my family should enjoy the fact that myself and others are seeking God as He desires us to do so rather than live an idle life. I have accepted that my Christianity can and will cause grief with my relationships for this very reason. This is too bad, but all I can do is pray for one another that we would remain to love each other as families do.

I love my Lord and Savior very much and although I am still learning to walk with God, I do know what He has shown me and there are no words to try and describe the love He has for me. I love all of my family very much and would never feel hurt if they were to disagree with what I believe. I just pray.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.
--Philippians 4:6

Busy Weekend

So last weekend was a busy one. Friday Jake had all four of his wisdom teeth extracted. Owee! He was a hurting unit. He's still pretty sore today but he'll get over it I tell him. I'm not so sure he believes me. Later that night we had to leave him homebound while attending a fellowship dinner. We got together with a bunch of other couples in our church and just visited and had dinner. It was a nice change to make friends with those that express the same value system as our own. We plan to do it again next month.

Saturday was a girls' day out with my Mom and a couple of my sisters and my niece. We have started this new tradition of going out in January to celebrate my sister, Monica, and my mom's birthdays since they are within a couple of weeks from each other. Plus I think it gives us something to look forward to after the holidays and is a good way to start the new year. So we went to eat at The Roof in Salt Lake City and then saw a parody of High School Musical at the Desert Star Theater called Home School Musical. It was a lot of fun. We talked about extending this girls' day out to for each of our birthday months so hopefully we will be meeting up again in May.

Sunday was my first day teaching the Kindergartner's through 2nd grade kids at church. I was so worried about it but then when I got in there it was a cinch. I don't know why I get so intimidated. I think I will stick to teaching the smaller kids though, I am not sure that I am ready for the 5th graders just yet.

After church we went to The Aquarium, a saltwater fish store, to pick up some supplies to treat the red slime that has overcome our tank. This stuff is hard to keep away and our regular store didn't have any in stock. The Aquarium is a really cool store though, a bit overpriced, but it is like walking around in an exhibit. The owner must have had a lot of money to start it up is all I can say.

We stopped to get groceries and then we finally got home where I "vegged" out on my laptop (yes, got it for Christmas!) and uploaded a gazillion pictures to my online photo gallery. I wanted to purchase some prints at Shutterfly but didn't want to spend the $50 to do it. Oh well, that free shipping coupon will be offered again. It seems they always are. Unfortunately it is a good excuse to put off my scrap booking that I started last fall. I think I am overwhelmed with all my pictures. I should just by a few prints at a time or invest in really nice printer that would print them just as good. Eh, it's easier to do it online and less of a bother. I know. I'm lazy.

"Epiphany"

When things arrive in my mind and in my emotion and I am pondering something from what I am feeling or the Holy Spirit has spoken to me either while reading the Bible or just on the way home from work, I often have words that come to mind that I truly have never known the meaning. I know what they mean just by hearing others talk of them in a context, but I never really educated myself on their meaning.

The word I had in my head yesterday was the word "epiphany." The word and lack of my knowledge of it occurred to me after I had an epiphany while driving home from work in a dark, icy atmosphere. Cars moving slowly all around, I was driving white knuckled and concentrated on the road, yet I was given an epiphany of my life and how I have just realized a blessing by the Holy Spirit with the gift of an answer to a long awaited prayer.

So the word "epiphany" I have used before but it is most relevant to me this morning now than ever. After I just read the meaning of the word and found that it referenced yesterday's date I am even more in awe with God, hence why I am compelled to write this at this very moment. It was yesterday when I was thinking of my most recent epiphany during my renewed walk with God. Yesterday was January 6th. I admit that I was prompted when I got home from that long drive to make an entry about the epiphany I had but didn't take the time to in order to not spend what little time I had left of the evening after that long drive home. And had I done so, I probably wouldn't have remembered to look up the word as I would have been in a hurry to get the entry done in time to be with my family.

Now some of you are thinking, "But Tulabell is at work right now, how does she have time to make an entry now?" Well it's easy, I find that when I have entries like this of my spirituality, God allows my fingers to swiftly describe what I need to in the short time I have before the work day really gets going. Then I save my work and make it a goal to get it published the same day.

So back to my epiphany with God. It occurred to me just yesterday, January 6th, that every morning over the past two + years I would get out of bed looking forward to my drive to work knowing that I could smoke without anyone else around. That no one would know or care if they didn't see me. It was my alone time. Yes, the sick mind of an addict. I would long to get out the door and on my drive home for that special time, it was how I started my day. This is no longer. It has also been after each cigarette that I would feel convicted and ask God to take my desire away, that He was the only one that knew how to do this.

Today I long for the time alone with God listening to the radio station that comes in unclear for the first half of my ride. There plays many sermons from pastors who I don't even know, but the Word speaks to me. I then am inspired by the last half of my drive as the radio station turns into a clear station from Klove. This occurred to me and I give praise for it. What a blessing! After over two years of guilt and pleasure and hiding of a dirty stinky habit that I thought felt fulfilling, I am blessed that this has been replaced by a much more wonderful experience. Isn't it a blessing?

e⋅piph⋅a⋅ny   /ɪˈpɪfəni/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [i-pif-uh-nee] Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun, plural -nies.
1. (initial capital letter) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.
2. an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity.
3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

Is it me or just a mom thing?

Last night I lie awake struggling with the urgency of motherhood and whether or not I made all the right choices throughout the day...

Savannah struggled to go to bed. She has always had separation anxiety and I admit we haven't had a steady nightly routine since the inception of the holidays. As usual I wanted her close to me for as long as possible but this always results in her falling asleep in my bed and then I put my moving her to her own bed thereafter. This is okay on the weekends, and I admit I have allowed it many weekdays. She knows I love this time with her and that I am a sucker for it too. I think she wants so badly to keep just as close to me as I want to be to her but the more we do this night time avoidance of going to bed separately the more she relies on it and it makes it that much harder to get her to bed by herself.

When I tuck her in at night I am usually given the "Just two short books mommy?" question with her angelic face, so prior to this prompting I acted quickly and reminded her that we watched had just watched the full movie of The Wizard of Oz therefore had no time for books but to think of books she'd like us to read tomorrow. She seemed okay with that and then I kissed her nose and said goodnight.

I snuck back in my bedroom to finish reading before going to bed myself when no sooner than I got situated, I heard two little feet sneak up toward my bedroom door and expecting her to come into my room, instead my light was switched off through the crack of the door. Shortly after that I hear, "Goodnight, I love you." I smiled about this, but proceeded to turn the light back on while explaining to her that she is just a little girl and needed to get to bed as soon as possible cause she isn't going to be able to sleep in in the morning. She started to get upset and tried to make me a "deal" where she said that she would go to sleep in her room just as soon as I go to sleep too. "Deal?" she said. It was so cute, and hard to resist but of course I had to decline and be a little stern reminding her she needed to get to sleep and that I loved her. She then stated that she didn't want to respond back and you could tell by her voice that she was heartbroken. It was sad and almost made me give in. I then reminded her that was fine, it was her choice not to respond, but that I did love her and to "sleep tight."

Once I turned the lights out myself and started to get comfortable and knew she was fast asleep is when the worrying started. To alleviate myself, I snuck in her room and gave her a kiss to make a better end of things. But then after getting back in bed, I starting thinking prior to Savannah's dilemma...

Earlier Jake had given me a hug before he went off to bed. I asked myself, "Did I hug him back?" I didn't remember if I did. I did remember telling him after the hug that I loved him and then of course threw in the same sentence, "I hope you got all your homework done." I remembered thinking at the moment just as I had said it that the whole effect of the "I love you" pretty much went out the window. Why didn't I correct my mistake at that point and time then? Why do I do this? And why can't I seem to remember things as well as I used to?

I find that I often do this worrying quite often and it's always just after the kids have fallen asleep. I worry almost incessantly that maybe I forgot to tell them or more importantly show them how much I love them. I am sure it is due to the fact that at night there are no distractions such as in the daytime, but either way I always want to go wake the kids up and make sure to ask them if there was anything I could have done better that day.

And then this morning after the alarm went off, I got out of bed intending on getting ready for work right away, but instead I stumbled in the dark to lay next to my sleeping daughter. I thought that if only for just a moment longer could I snuggle with her before the rude awakening of the start of a work day. Just as soon as I laid down, she instantly hugged me and said, "I love my mommy" it was so wonderful and my heart was then smiling as wide as the world.

I also remembered to call Jake just in time before he left for school. I reminded him to have a good day and that I loved him. I am glad he has a cell phone for very his reason and if he ever reads this blog entry he'll know why I have called him in the middle of the night.

I love my kids with all my heart. And here I am trying to transition again into yet another Monday wondering if some of my Monday workday blues may be due to having to be separated from their love. Maybe it's me with the separation anxiety, not Savannah. Is it just me or a mom thing?

Updates to blog...

Yes, there is a lot of tweeking going on here. So I'm not so sure I am liking the pink or not. Don't be surprised to see a mess of things until I get it just the way I want it. In the meantime I have added a slideshow and a link to my online photo journal in my sidebar. :)

Savannah & her new camera

So Savannah got a VTech Kidizoom Digital Camera for Christmas. It has been a lot of fun this week for both of us playing with all the extras like games, photo editor, and puzzles. My camera has had a broken display for some time so she hasn't been able to play with mine for a while and has always loved to snap and see the pictures we take in an instant. What's great about this gift is that it is very kid sturdy and is designed just for her keeping her occupied for hours on end. And don't forget that it's pink!

I admit that she and I have spent a good deal of time using the Photo Editor to make funny faces out of Bear and Jake, but we have also made some pretty cool edits that turned out "scrapbook worthy." (If that is even considered a term.) All in all I think it has brought out some new creativity in her. In fact she takes it every where we go, kind of like a photo journalist. This is one toy I will take the time to rate on Amazon.com to recommend to other parents. It has been a hoot!

Good advice...

Just had to share, I came across this today and found it insightful:

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "
--Franklin Roosevelt