Bittersweet

We have officially started packing. The boxes are stacking in the garage, the walls are empty, there is a mess all around and my kids know how easily I get agitated when the kitchen isn't spotless. Life is hectic however it feels good to go through things and organize the past 7 years in boxes. What I mean is I am enjoying seeing things come into a new life. I picture this wall hanging here or that one there. I remind myself of when or where we got each item. It is almost like going through a scrapbook.

This move is bittersweet. This is the first house we had together as a family, Savannah's first and only home. We put a lot of work into it - if you recall there was nothing but a lot full of dirt and we put the grass in and the landscaping, the sprinkler system and the fence, a lot of drywall and most of all a lot of love. There wasn't always happy times - no one's lives are perfect - but I only remember the good.

I admit moving isn't fun - there is an overwhelming feeling of finding more and more junk than what I know what to do with - and I am proud of myself for keeping it so contained and out of sight through out the years. On the other hand I love getting things cleaned out - and would like to do this more on a regular basis until waiting for a specific purpose such as this.

I am excited to see how things will develop. To see a different house turn into our home. I know it is just stuff but a person's stuff can define the life around it in so many ways. Stuff holds memories, personalities, and very precious pasts. Stuff like pictures, passed on parent's and grandparent's belongings, and wall paintings by the kids when they were little. Sure there is also memories in decorations too, such as the awesome wall clock your husband gave you for Christmas and not quite sure how he picks this stuff right of your head as to what you like. This place here is looking less and less like a home without our stuff and I didn't realize how much a difference it really made but it has been 7 years since we moved. I guess this is why I am so excited to picture it there.

I am a bit nervous yet anxious to get Savannah in her new school. I know we'll not be unpacked completely on that first day and we'll probably be scavenging boxes to find her school clothes, but I know it will all work out fine. I thought maybe I could talk Charlie into taking the day off to be with me to take her - I guess I have a bit of the same anxiety I had the first day back at home from the hospital after having her. I am feeling a bit nervous about leaving her with strangers yet here in Utah the people at the schools are just as much strangers (Savannah was to start at a new school anyway). I don't know why after living a while in a geographical area makes you feel like you know people when you really don't.

It is weird to think that there is only 2 weekends left here in Utah. I worry about driving to Wisconsin. I know the drive on I-80 will be a breeze, but after that well I have some studying to do! I am glad Jake will be with me to help drive if needed as well as for company. I know I can do it, I once drove to Seattle on my own with two little boys after coming off a really bad time in my life of doing drugs. Sure I got lost that day but all it took was a prayer and needless to say the Lord took me right where I was intending to go. He was with me then and He will be with me now. Besides, I'm my father's daughter. Who else will know how to study, read, and navigate a map better? (If you knew my dad at all you'd know he was always caught studying maps in his room.)

Why do I call it bittersweet? Sadly we are ending a chapter in life by moving away but nothing will be left behind - we are packing up 7 years worth of memories and taking them with us to add more!