Our 20th Year

Yesterday we celebrated our 20th year anniversary. We reflected how much we've changed as we've gotten older. Not physically, because that is obvious, but the change in our character and appreciation of what we've been given. You'd think with no more kids in the house life gets empty. But it doesn't. It is fuller than ever, even as we are faced with new trials and obstacles. We now take life more slowly, yet time goes by faster. And the best part is we are just as in love and best friends now than we were then. 

I remember when I first started dating Charlie, my friend and co-worker (much older and experienced), gave me the advice to not sweat the small stuff. And while this was good advice for dating, I found it not to apply to a life-long marriage. In marriage there is going to be major stuff. Stuff that makes you question the work it takes to keep together. Stuff that really depends on commitment and loyalty to build the kind of trust and longevity to stay together. The kind of stuff that my Grandma Johnson told us it would be on her 50th wedding anniversary when she was asked and replied, "You take care of each other." 

The plan for this milestone was going to be to renew our vows, and I wanted a Hawaii getaway to do so. But with everything that has been going on, as mentioned in my last post, we opted to celebrate a little closer to home and I'm so glad we did. An expensive trip to paradise is no more valuable than simple pleasures.  

It took a lot of researching but I found this perfect Airbnb only a couple of hours away on a small lake. If you have talked to me in the past 5 years, then you know I have not been impressed with the landscape of Texas since we started living here, but this place has changed my mind. It will be hard to top I am sure. 

Once we got away from Dallas, the drive was peaceful and relaxing. It was full of tall trees, green fields, and adorable cows along the winding "Farm to Market" country roads. When we arrived, were surprised to be greeted by a private fenced community that was tucked at in a corner road. If you were on a Sunday drive you would have missed it in a wink and only thought there was a small forest of trees in its place.

The cottage was about 1,000 square feet and inside you'll find new interior walls, doors, and floors while tastefully decorated and furnished with antiques from the local flea market finds. You'd never guess it can sleep 8 people so comfortably! We did not care at all that there was no television. The outdoor sounds and sights that nature provided were all that we needed. There was a nice living room, comfortable couches, and plenty to do. The bathroom wasalways wanted to try a double head shower. The kitchen was small but incredibly fit a good sized dining table, coffee station, and gas stove where we made ham and eggs for breakfast.

Outside the property was your personal a cooling pool, showers, a wildflower garden, a corn hole game, BBQ grill, and fire pit adorned with party lights. We bought hot dogs to put on sticks, but pan fried them instead where it was much cooler. Don't get me wrong, I love a bonfire but not when its 100 degrees at 10 pm. 

Here are only a small portion pictures I took highlighting some of the best memories we will always treasure:

View of the Firefly Guest House. There are two queen beds in the upstairs of the main living area. In addition there is a "sleeping porch" in the back with a large bed and is enclosed with a screen. The sounds of the frogs and other wildlife at night would have lulled us to sleep in no time. 

 

The silo bedroom is on the bottom and soon to be a lounge in the top. It is all sided with cedar inside and smells amazing! You can't see it in the picture above but it is located and attached to the guest house on the right side. It was a bit warm in there as they have not yet installed AC, so we didn't sleep in it. I thought I had a picture of the inside but found I did not. :( 

Beautiful morning on front porch overlooking the wildflower garden.

View of the lake from front porch. 

The lake is small and private, you could see across the way to the local neighbors but we didn't even notice them there!

Charlie's fishing pole was put to good use! We caught many of these small pan fish and they kept us entertained for hours. We even heard a hoot owl across the way, very exiting!

Looking to the west side of the lake. So peaceful!

Make shift pool fabricated from a large stock tank. It was filtered and very much needed in this Texas heat. 

We spent our last day in the nearby town visiting the local fish hatchery, hibachi & sushi for dinner, and one last round of fishing while the sun set. 

Our thank you note to the owners as we were getting ready to leave. There is a lot of personal memories for Charlie and me on this that we will always laugh about for years to come when the other one mentions it. 

The pictures we have and the owners have on their advertisement DO NOT do any justice to this place.  I hope the memories in my mind stay as vivid as they are now. We will definitely go back a time or two in our future years. Here's to another 20 years together!

365 Days

A lot has happened in the past 365 days. We became empty nesters. I didn't say much about this in my last post because it has been hard my last baby leaving and it not being in the way how I imagined it. But she graduated High School and I am proud of her for this! 

So of course naturally we adopted a baby kitten. Meet Sambo. I wasn't sure he was going to make it at first with all his health issues, he was only two weeks when we got him last May and was found on the side of a road. But he is doing great now!

I turned 50. Yep. But in the same week we lost our love bug, Garfield. I think it could have been prevented had the vet been more adamant to hydrate him. Nothing will ever be the same without our Garfield. It has been and still is a deep loss. A month after that Missy passed away too, which I feel also could have been prevented. I feel at fault for all these instances, except my turning 50 of course. That was inevitable. 

For Christmas I went to Green Bay to visit my boys and my mom met me there. It was great to see them. Jake took us to a lovely museum where we saw The Nutcracker scenes in a mansion decorated to the brim. We had good fellowship with him and his family in his new home. I only wish we lived closer so we could visit him and Michael more often. 

January 2023 was tough. My sweet sister in law Cherise, who has been ill for about 4 years, passed. My brother and his family are heavy in my heart and prayers. For I don't know this pain yet, but I understand it. This was the last time I saw her in 2019. I loved her smile and she was such an inspiration to me, a great mother, a wonderful home maker, and a daughter of her faith. I hope I remembered to let her know it. 

We adopted Tigger last month, he was a stray left at the local shelter. He has been a little scared but is still adjusting and he gives the most sweet "muffins" to us. I hope he will continue to progress and get cuddlier as he grows older. He is only a bit older than Sambo. They play cute together but get rough at times. I hope because they are still both young, they will grow out of this and rely on us for their attention LOL.

Charlie has not been feeling well for the last year and a half. We have gone to every specialist you can think of but nothing shows wrong with him. I feel so badly for him as I know how it feels to be ill and no one having answers. We do the best we can. I am sure glad we have each other to rely on each other. I don't take that for granted. When you get older things are just so different and important to you from what you thought mattered while you are young. 

Please know that if you are reading this that I love you and cherish you in my heart. I pray 2023 will be a better year for everyone. 

Love ,Tammy

Time

I watched a video this morning on Facebook of a beautiful mother bird preparing her nest, and then raising 6 little ones all in 40 days (watch it here: 🐦 ) I love watching birds and it was amazing but then I became emotional...emotions in a new way haven't felt before.

Maybe because 50 is approaching or maybe because my nest is empty. But then I remember how my dad would say, "This too shall pass..."

Holidays for the next year are going to be difficult for me. I was only a child when I had my first baby and now 33 1/2 years later all three are on their own. Even though they still need me and we are in touch, life is going to be quite an adjustment. I never developed any hobbies or interests for myself growing up before I became a mother.  Being a mom was my interest and was what kept me motivated. So what do I do now? 

They say not to dwell on the past and I thought that was only true if you dwell on the bad things that happened in your life. I realize I dwell on my good memories and like to relive them. While they are good, they often make me sad because I miss them amd my heart aches for them. Because of this know I miss out on what could be for today. I now need to consciously practice focusing on both yesterday's memories and plan to make new ones.

I'm so grateful I am not completely alone in this next chapter of my life and that my husband is here for me and tries to understand. 

What's been happening in 2021?

COVID let up a bit, but it is back in full spring with a new variant. I got vaccinated, but now there are still cases for vaccinated folks. Life feels back to normal, I started working back in the office in April, we aren't required to wear masks now, and school will be in session in person again for Savannah.

But is it back to normal? They are moving to paperless in the schools, and work has also gone full paperless. I like it but worry about kids and even myself losing our penmanship skills.

Savannah turned 17 this year, got her Driving permit, and will be a senior already. Where time goes is beyond my comprehension. 

We went to a cute little cabin for the 4th of July weekend where we got out in the country, enjoyed fresh farm eggs, and fireworks.

We visited Utah for a family reunion and the mountains are as majestic as always. It was great to get together and make some new memories.

Charlie started working for Amazon. His current employer's contract was suspended so they offered permanent jobs for those who wanted them and applied. He really is liking his job. I am loving mine too. 

Life feels balanced this year and it feels good. Here are some highlights...

Got a proposal on Christmas 2020!

Missy's outgrown Garfield!

Savannah celebrating her 17th with Julia

Cowboy in the winter blizzard in Texas

Woot woot, finally her permit! I may add it took her so long to get this because she procrastinated a while and wasn't sure she wanted to drive until now

Our huntress with her prey

Charlie started jamming with some guys, we go out once a month and just have fun

Who knew farm fresh eggs don't need to be refrigerated for a week or so as long as they aren't washed?

Charlie installed an over the range microwave. Looks great! Now we need new kitchen cabinets. 

Carrillo family reunion...and this is only a fraction of us!

Beautiful view in Brighton, UT

Thanksgiving in WI

Mom, Savannah, and I all went to WI for Thanksgiving this year. It was so good to see Jake, Sasha, Patti, and the fur babies. We also got to visit Michael.

Jake made the turkey, he brined it and everything. He even got it fresh from the local meat shop we used to like to go to in WI. I don't know if it is true they chop their heads off, or what, but it sure was tasty so I didn't care to think about how it died. We also visited Door County (my favorite!) and the Christmas lights at the WPS annual show. It wasn't as cold as I thought it would be, but definitely colder than TX!

Here are some pictures:

Summer in Utah

We went to Utah to visit with family - Covid and all. It was great to get away and be back in the desert country where I grew up. We experienced new adventures a couple hours away from Orem while staying at Downata Hot Springs Resort. They had covered wagons round in a circle under a big sky. The galaxy was so bright at night. Boy, how I missed these stars at night!

Savannah and her teen cousins had so much fun together, it was hard to leave. 

At Home

So since the middle of March we've been staying home, well mostly Savannah and I. COVID-19 virus has swept over the remaining part of the planet and while the US seemed to be last in line I am not sure exactly if this is true. But I don't really care about the politics of it or who started it or how, what matters is we are all safe, we still have our jobs, and work (for now), and there is not more that we can feel blessed for.

I am ready to get back into the office however. I like my morning walks with Cowboy and not having the commute but it is hard transitioning between the two spaces. I am tempted to work more than I should even though we are not allowed overtime, in fact I even thought about it just before I started this post. I get distracted and can't focus as well as I do in the office but this is in part to my family being around. And lastly, I eat more working from home!

I am looking forward to seeing my coworkers when we are given the okay to go back. I miss this part of socializing. You know me, it doesn't take much. Just being around them during the day is socialization even if we don't talk much.

Speaking of socialization, is it terrible that I have enjoyed being quarantined for various reasons? For example, there is no pressure from family members (not that I don't love them) to visit or go places. I can also get away with not having to go anywhere. (Why yes, I am a home body). Introversion has its annoyances because I feel guilty for being this way. But it is who I am and I have to tell myself this all the time and I am not the only one!

Savannah is having a hard time - oh not with the online schooling part, she is and always has been very good about that - but she is pretty extroverted and thrives on being around kids her age. She even said she wished she had a sibling to be quarantined with so she wasn't so alone. I am glad I work at home for this but worry when I return. She applied for a job and of course due to the virus they were not hiring. Bummer deal too is that the driver license office is closed and we can't get her learners permit right now which she would love to be practicing her driving.

Here she is cutting her dad's hair and attending virtual drill with her Sea Cadet program.

I am loving the puzzles but have a hard time finding them in stock right now. Everyone else seems to have the same idea.

I miss the three of us being able to just go out though...well, dining that is...since that is just about all the DFW area in Texas has to offer. Can't miss recreational activities or outdoor nature excursions since there isn't a lot to find here. We did go on a picnic a couple of weeks ago near people/boat filled reservoir and that was nice but the lack of water and trees and country and mountain landscapes here seriously plays a role in my happiness. Texas has these things, just not where we live within an hour or two.

Because our cruise with my mom is canceled I am left with my upcoming vacation time and no plans. I love this because in years past they were already spent before I got them. I almost want to hoard them and go on a vacation just the three of us. After all it has been 10 year since we did this and it is long past due. Now this something to think about...virus or no virus. And it will be in the future after Charlie gets more vacation in September. I bet vacations are cheap right now even if we don't travel until October. But even so, I'd do an in state trip just to get to know the state of Texas better.

Saying goodbye to an old friend

He will be missed. He arrived at the end of the sidewalk on a hot summer day. Only did we know about him when the neighbor rang the doorbell and said, "Did you know there is a puppy in a crate out by your mailbox?"

He's been our Beardy boy ever since. We had a lot of fun times with him. He has many stories and mostly incidents of his accident prone self or getting into trouble with running out of the yard and attacking bicyclists and other little dogs. He loved to be outside. 

I recall how he would come up to you after you sneezed to check on you. Every time. He was a good guard dog too. Once when he was in his kennel while we were at work our house was broke into. Had he not been it would have been safe.

I miss that old roochie boy. He had a good life though. He was our pal.