Praise!

I would like to share something with you all. As I struggle in life and have for so long, I am just at peace this morning with a dream I have had. Some background to why this is so relevant is that the churh where we attend has been recently given an opportunity and a need to either relocate or restore our church building, but nothing has been set in stone. Charlie and I also have a need and are in a possible opportunity to relocate as well. But we have had to pray much for our situation and in order to do that we need to be conscious of our spirituality so that we may receive the answer that is of His will. So both of these things put together may have nothing to do with our church at all but I believe it has given some direction to the prayers God is receiving from its body, including myself.

For quite some time I have been having vivid dreams about driving a car or other type of vehicle and never really understood what they meant until this morning when I woke up. I remember the first dream I had (sometime in 1993) where I was in my car I had at the time and I had one of my boys in a car seat in the back, it seems that he were a baby in the dream. Well I had somehow gotten out of control and started veering off the steep road into the large ditch, you know that big hill by the Orem Wal-mart? Well I was going down that road heading toward the lake, no other cars were around and it was dark. I just remember the car going off the road, rolling, and then me and the baby (it seems like it was Michael) just walked away. But then I woke up. I don't remember any feeling of emotion other than wondering what it meant.

Long story short, since then I have had a lot happen to me. I recovered from one of my largest tribulations - my divorce, battle with drugs, and loss of insanity 1996 to 1999 - it has been off and on where I have experienced similar dreams. However my dreams were always bright and during daylight and instead of a car I am driving a large pickup truck. When I am driving in these dreams (and my kids were not with me in these dreams, it seems I was alone) I find that when I need to stop the vehicle I can never seem to get the brakes on the truck to work. It is at the point where they are not stopping the vehicle where I wake up. Sometimes in these dreams they included other things that were sinful in nature, things that I was probably experiencing at the time and knew that I was in need of God's help, but I don't recall the details of those pictures now. Where I always knew these dreams meant something I also let myself think too that maybe they were just memories and/or nightmares of my experience in learning how to drive a manual transmission in a large truck as I once had, but I know differently now.

My last dream like this was a couple of months ago. I was not alone this time though. A friend I have had for the last few years was there in the truck with me with one of her kids. (Just as I typed this I originally put "with us" instead of "with me" - because I am never alone am I?) I was the driver and it seemed we were driving in a large outdoor mall, kind of like the Gateway but instead it was built with pillars you would see in Rome. We were to go shopping it seems, and once again I was driving a large truck and this time there was an intersection with a stop light just beaming red to stop. When I tried to stop the truck I remember looking down at the brake and it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't even slow down. I then woke up.

This morning I dreamt I was driving my little blue car that Jacob now drives. It was dark out, very dark. I had Savannah with me but she was older than she is now. I was on my way to take her to the babysitter prior to work as usual. I remember driving in the car and how smooth the ride felt. I saw myself from above driving through the kitchen in our church - it was pitch black and all I could see was the car driving through all the folding chairs there. Then I was no longer looking from above, I was in the car and as I was driving I turned my head to the right as if to look behind me when I told myself to slow down, that there was a cop I had just passed. As I slowed down a voice told me not to worry about being pulled over, that "He" knew I was being careful. I felt joy at that moment. Then I turned a corner where I saw the babysitter's face (this is the same lady I mentioned above that has become my friend over the past few years) but it wasn't her, it was her face but her image was more of a spirit form of a different person that I don't know. And just as fast as I saw her face it disappeared. I then found myself in "a" church kitchen with a good friend from church, where she was preparing a pork roast for a potluck we were having that day. It felt like it was to be a potluck for work (cause in my dream I am on my way to work), but yet it was actually for a church congregation. The kitchen we were in reminded me of the same as the one we have in the church now, yet different and new. As I turned to use the kitchen sink and excused myself from getting out of her way, I remember the counter top of the kitchen being exactly the same as the kitchen of the church we have now but then when I glanced to the left the kitchen was not the same. She didn't say anything to me and just smiled as she went on her way with getting the roast in the crock pot. There were many other people there to her side. I didn't see their faces, but there was a group and they were all working together. I then remember looking behind me at Savannah who was standing near a fridge waiting for me to get her a drink of milk in her "sippy cup" to have before I dropped her off at the babysitters, and behind her was the dark area where the folding chairs were and it looked just like our old dining area of the kitchen of the Calvary. I then remember thinking I needed to get to work now and it was then that I woke up.

I shared this dream with Charlie as I have all the other dreams where I cannot stop the truck, and as I was expecting him to think I was being silly it was then that I saw him overcome the spirit as it did me. It was an awesome experience.

The dream I had today is representation of my life that today is finally and truly being led by His spirit and the prospective change for what may lie ahead in the future for myself, Savannah, and for the church we attend. It shows me that with prayer the ride will be smooth and our destination will be celebrated. But that we must continue to work for it and to have faith.

I praise God for prayer and His work as he is the potter and we are the clay. That he has a plan for us and we can never know what is in store. That great things are to come from Him and that if we continue in prayer we will know His will. I am even more now than before in so much wonder to know what the future holds for us and for Calvary. I just pray.