Friday, February 20, 2009

I'm Back!

To feeling myself again that is! Still a little sinus pressure and coughing but man does it feel good to be out of the bedroom ache-fever-chill free. I tell you after spending two days in there I don't want to look at it again! Unfortunately my husband is now sick too. I missed work yesterday but had no choice so I had to force myself to go to the doctor to get a note for work and it was miserable. I am happy to say that I am feeling much better! Woo hoo! My energy level is getting back too! What a great way to start the weekend.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sick and tired of Sick

I haven't had "flu" like symptoms for years. I have my flu shot evey year and while I don't think what I have is the flu, I do believe it is related. Every inch of my body and flesh ached, even the follicles of my eyelashes hurt. I had a low grade fever and some chills and am coughing a bit. My sinuses are getting worse as we speak.

Today I stayed home from work. Last week I was late due to a toothache and a couple weeks before that I was having tummy troubles. I just hope they don't reprimand me. It seems like it's all or nothing with me when I get sick.
All I know is that I'm sick of being sick.

Glad there is only one day left of work for the week. I think I can muddle my way through tomorrow if I still have a job that is. Ugh.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Poor Jake

He was so excited to get his tax refund! But yesterday as he found out how much it costs to get his car up and running for registration he sure was bummed. I feel so bad for him. It sucks to be a grown up. Poor Jake.

Missing my daughter...

I am missing my daughter today,
for she will be grown up one day.

If just for all day I could be with her,
to play with her and tickle and tease,
it would be our special time together,
this would make me feel at ease.

But this is not true, not for right now,
for tomorrow and the next I must be away,
then Friday and Saturday and Sunday I'll stay.

I love my daughter but most of all I love being with her.
I hope she is having a good day in school,
I can't wait to return to her tonight,
I anticipate to see her run to me arms wide open,
We will embrace and hold each other not letting go,
This is all I want for the rest of my life.

Weekend and Work

The long weekend was great and it was nice that we all had the holiday off together, even if we did spend the majority of it apart. Jake working on getting his car ready for registration, Savannah and I both not feeling well and taking care of a couple of dogs, and my husband tending to the many activities committed to his online game. I was ultimately lazy and I think for good reason. Savannah came down with a 102 temperature and then I myself started to not feel well. I think that explains the lack of energy I had to do my housework as I normally do. Although not sick as she was, I it really reminds me of how old I am. It was nice to have my mom's dog, Bella, always by our side though. She made both Savannah and I feel better.

We went out Saturday night for Valentine's Day with my sister and her husband at the Spaghetti Factory and then to a 3D movie at the Planetarium - we had a lot of fun catching up and visiting. We were invited to go to Vegas for my sister's wedding vow renewal, and it's a good thing we didn't go with Savannah being so sick. The main reason we decided not to go was that we didn't want to spend the money without knowing where Charlie's job will be. We'd also like to stick to our plan of getting out of debt regardless if we sell our house or not. We've had a plan thus far, but to help out, me especially, I wanted to take the Financial Peace class taught by Dave Ramsey after church on Sundays to help us stay in gear with keeping on top of our spending and hopefully have our plan of getting out of debt happen a little faster. I know we're on the right track but think it will be good to use as a tool to help us keep mindful as well as encourage me how to budget better.

It's not Monday but feels like one. Why is it so hard to come into work? Why do I have to talk myself into getting out of bed but find I'm better at talking myself out of not getting out justifying it with many good reasons?

This isn't a hard question. I would much rather not have to wake up my daughter and force her out in the cold. It's hard enough to get my butt out of bed, but to have to make her get up and to have her cry like she did this morning is worse. Day in and day out you'd think I'd be used to this stuff. I did it with the boys too. But I am getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. I really struggle with this and am not sure what to do with myself. Right now I am wishing that it was me who was were with her and getting her her breakfast and helping her to get ready for preschool, not her babysitter.

While I've not been fully happy working the last few years, the feelings from being a working mom has really gotten to me the last four months. Why is this? Is it because Savannah is 5 and will be starting Kindergarten and I am just now realizing the small amount of time I have left of her childhood? I don't know, all I know is that it is really interfering with my life in so many ways that I don't even vocalize it cause I have just accepted that I am a working mom. Period.

I just have to take this one day at a time. *sigh*

Friday, February 13, 2009

Who let the dogs out?

Grandma & Grandpa brought over their puppy last night to stay the weekend while they are in Vegas celebrating with my sister while she renews her vows. Well okay, she's not exactly a puppy, but she reminds me of one. She is a Shi Tzu and full of energy. We are also dog watching Mater for my brother who is also heading to Vegas so it should be a fun experience. Savannah has just fallen in love with Bella! She goes around singing, "B for Bella, B for Bella." And Last night she said, "We need to get a dog for me."

Bear is funny cause he wants to play with her as if she were a full size dog. He doesn't understand and when we warn him to be careful he looks at us with his sad eyes as if to say, "I'm sorry, I'm just so excited!" Just wait until Mater gets here. He is a healer and I am not sure if he is the same size as Bear but nonetheless will be a great play date.

What's more is that my friend called this morning to let me know there are some baby pugs in the classifieds that need a good home and so maybe, just maybe mind you, if all goes well we could have a puppy tonight!

Now we've been wanting a pug for a while so it is not like this would be on a whim or anything. And last night while watching TV just before bed I was just thinking myself too how natural it felt to have that little ball of love curled up to my side. Interesting how things come to play sometimes. Just like when we got Bear. We had lost our other dog to an accident and was still sad and lonely without her and here this puppy was dropped off at our house and needing a place to stay. Not that we forgot about our other dog, but that someone new came into our life and for a reason I feel. But then again I always feel things happen for a reason.

Once again I sit here and am still perplexed in how I've grown to love dogs. I have always hated them from since I could remember. I was scared of them, they barked and were annoying, they had stinky breath, they were overbearing and required too much attention. But after having one of my own I am wrong. They are so full of love and you are always their hero. They follow you around and endlessly keep you company.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Monday Gripe Session

I am officially tired of winter now. I admit I enveloped myself in it when it began, but I'm pretty sure that was mostly due to my Christmas spirit. I am grateful for the moisture, we are truly blessed, so don't get me wrong. I'm just tired of being cold! I'm just feeling done. I don't know, maybe I am just feeling this way cause 5 in the morning comes awful early to be forced out of bed. Poor me, I have to go to work. The only benefit to driving in the snow is that it makes me a bit late, but if it were up to me I'd ultimately rather be in bed under my warm comfy blankies and not come in until I'm good and ready.

Meanwhile my boss is in sunny Mexico, another coworker of mine just came back from Hawaii. I don't think I could type fast enough to warm up. Not even standing by the copy machine helps. Why have I let myself be content with working, staying home, and small travel all these years? Not that our finances are out of control, we just have enjoyed adding upgrades to our house and buying a few things on loans and have added up all too fast. Our goal is to be debt free except our house within the next 5 years. In the meantime we will have to save and pay cash for anything we want to buy that isn't absolutely needed. We are taking the Financial Peace course by Dave Ramsey at our church and I look forward to it. While a lot of it we already know to do and have started, I think it will help (at least for me) to have that 3rd party accountability with networking discussions and sharing success through best practices. Kind of reminds me of being back in Weight Watchers...well sort of.

Ahhh someday we will be basking in the sun for two weeks while work stays behind right where it should be.

Dream, dream, dream...

Ever have recurring dreams that you don't know what they mean? I often dream about being in a dress shop and I am looking for a dress for my daughter. Usually the dresses look like the ones I used to sew for production for MiniWorld many years ago. Other times I am just at a department store filtering through racks and racks of clothing trying to find her size but not having any luck. The dream I had this morning the dresses were at my house rather than in a store and they were all summery dresses on a rack for sale for $2 and all her size! I was one lucky mom! I just don't get it though. Now I'll be puzzled all morning long. Why are these types of dreams recurring? What do they mean? Do any of you have dreams that recur that make no sense?

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Kitten Garden

My sweet little girl has now turned 5 and boy does she know it. Since her birthday she has been hearing everyone talk about her starting Kindergarten this year. This morning as I we were preparing for the day and I was zipping her coat up, she said in a half-sleepy, half serious, all innocent face, "Am I going to go to Kitten Garden?" I still remember that moment of her looking up at me with cherub face and those "Precious Moments" eyes when she said this. Jake and I just both smiled and looked at each other repeating her words "Kitten Garden" aloud just to hear it and so I reminded her once again that yes, she would be going once summer is over. Warms my heart just thinking about it. :)

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Reader's Block?

I have never been able to read more than one page in a book - well okay maybe I have read two whole books. I get pretty frustrated at myself when people ask me what my favorite book is or if I've ever read a certain book. When I tell them I haven't I feel pretty illiterate and uneducated. I hate to say it but reading puts me fast asleep. Should I be reading sitting up instead of in bed, is that my problem? Why can I read endlessly on the computer and not get sleepy? Is it that the light and electricity is stimulating my mind where a book can't? I seriously get to the point to where I cannot keep my eyes open. Yet when I put the book away and turn out the light for bed, I am wide awake thinking instead.

I am also attention deficit, in that as I read I am thinking about everything. I find that I have to go back and re-read paragraph after paragraph. This has been a struggle for me ever since I remember. Does this happen to anyone else?

I don't know, I just know that I love to write endlessly as you can tell with my new blog, Walking with God. So I feel that in order to be a good writer I need to be a good reader.