Random thoughts from being a mother

So who knows if Michael will want to come back after this summer of working at his uncle's farm. His psychotherapist was right. Without him having physical contact, the relationship wouldn't stay strengthened. He's spent the last two weekends working there and has not spent any time with us. It seems to have made him distant and less close to us. He doesn't call, he doesn't act like he was ever here to begin with. I suppose it's his choice if he wants to continue to work there and go to school in that area. He is old enough. But the things that go through a mother's head is still there. What did I do, what didn't I do, all that time and now this is what's left? And on the other hand it feels like a relief to take away the responsibility. I mean I spent every day since I was his age taking care of him, and now all of a sudden this whole mother-son relationship thing is just moving on with what feels like no future? I suppose it's more of an umbilical cord factor for me, but I think I'm coming to accept whatever he decides. If he stays and lives with his uncle, I'll feel let down at first and I'm sure he will feel happy being new to their family and receiving new attention, but it too will get old for him. Or maybe not. Maybe he likes having a grandmother who will spoil him and keep him the baby that he can sometimes be, to which will be their fault, not mine. I guess only time wil tell.