On moving to Wisconsin

On what People say:
So many people ask, "Are you sure you want to move?" I respond with a "Yes!" But then I go home and start questioning myself based off what they say. I know that I'm as ready as I'll ever be. We've had almost 2 years now to prepare for this day. While we never banked on it happening, we did prepare that it was a very good possibility. I myself mentally prepared. A lot.

I get so many "You'll hate the winters" and "You'll miss the mountains" - sure these things may be true but there are so many things here that are just as discouraging. I won't go into the things I won't miss as I don't believe it is right to try and compare the two and make judgement of it without having lived in both places. After all the places that you find you like to live in isn't about the climate around you is it? Life on earth is much more deeper than these things.

I've had a couple people ask if I would follow Charlie if his job did end up out there. Well of course? I am married. Naturally why would I deny following? Sure I have a good job here, but I have not been happy with it. It served its purpose for the time in my life and was a big part of who I was and I am grateful for it. It gave me a lot of growth and stability for when I needed it most when I was a single mom, but things have changed. My life is no longer about my job.

On New Possibilities:
Yes I am excited that we found a beautiful house for a very good price and my husband has a permanent job continuing to do what he enjoys and will not have to face being laid off - but tangible blessings are not where my hope in happiness lies. My hope is always in the Lord and we have prayed and prayed about this move and He has been with us all along in this process. I want to our family to experience new people, new ways of life, and new culture - but not just through my own desire but through the will of God.

I've lived in Utah my whole life and I am and have always been very sheltered for which I think it has caused my growth to be slow in finding out who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to do in this life. I'm not saying I will find it all in Wisconsin, but that is where we are going for now. I do know there is going to be much spiritual growth for me during this time and for that I will be writing about in my other blog. After all you can't expect to grow in your relationship with the Lord without trials.

I am also looking forward to seeing Savannah grow as well, she is nervous but mostly about the possibility of cobwebs in the new house. (I think this was due to the many houses we looked at that had them.) I can't wait for her to meet new friends at school and at church.

On Family:
I am a family person, so I know this part will be the most challenging. I am leaving behind those that I love but that doesn't mean my love stays behind.

Charlie and I have talked about future possibilities that if Michael and Brooke are at a point after their life has settled with the baby and their schooling and if they both want to that they could move out there with us. So we plan to include them in our lives as much as possible.

My brother Matt - he is always there for me no matter what. I can tell him how I feel and he will never get offended and will always see my side of things. We are pretty close and he and I have a relationship and are very good friends. I am going to miss seeing his kids grow.

My sister Monica - she is so sweet and thoughtful and I really enjoy spending time with her and her family. I always feel at home with her. She is a couple hours away from where we live now but that doesn't stop us from getting together. Her son lives in Indiana, about 300 miles from where we'll be so we will get to see each other when she is out for a visit to see him.

My sister Tina - very generous and giving person and such a wonderful example of independence through emotional and physical inner strength. I regret I am not as close to her as I should be, but she has a busy lifestyle so I don't really see her a lot nor do we have a lot in common.

My brother John - he is so concerned for everyone and everything, he is so dedicated and loyal. He is such a good guy and I will miss being around him and reminiscing of past memories that he and I usually do.

My mom. This is a hard one. Because she is my mom. I know if this would have happened say 5 years ago there would be no question to my needing to stay. After dad died she was so lonely and needed us kids' support tremendously, but who wouldn't? Since then Randy has come into the picture and they have began building their own life and they are doing quite well but that is not to say I won't miss her. Of course I will but out of anyone coming to visit me I know she'll be the first.

My other two siblings - it is not like I am leaving them behind at all. Jennifer lives in Seattle and she and I converse mainly through Facebook now days. I see her maybe once a year but only for a day at a time so our relationship will not change much. Marty and I are estranged, but not by my choice. He lives in Idaho and I can't remember the last time I saw him and I don't think he will miss something that is not there.

My grandparents are all gone, I don't spend time with my aunts or uncles either. We used to. We really did, but I think when the grandparents left and the majority of grandkids were grown - family time became less important and no one was dedicated to making it happen any longer. I thought about it. About planning and having a family reunion, but that was as far as it went. Sad huh?

We will all miss you and love you very much, but you will never be forgotten. I will try to make as much effort as possible to visit - this too was also a long discussion between Charlie and I before we made this decision and I informed him that we may need set aside emergency funds for airfare for me in addition to regularly planned visits so that I can go at the whim if needed. I only pray for your support and am excited to see what the future holds.

So there you have it. I have prepared for all of these emotions and feelings upfront and am curious to see how they will continue after our move. Jacob, Savannah, the dogs and cats and I are officially out of here on August 27th off to start our new life in Wisconsin. We are looking forward to being together again!